Look, I love your foodstuffs. It's obvious from this picture. But must you go out of your way to try to be edgy? You're like the MILF that plays Nickelback in the sack because you think all the young dudes like that kind of postgrunge ballyhoo.
Let me take you on a stroll down memory lane-
Subservient Chicken: It's like a porno webcam, except it's a man in a chicken suit. Har-har d'ourves. The chicken does whatever you type in the message box. I typed "Run away from the factory farm and die."
Sean John Bags:
A few years ago the Burger Monarch asked Puff Daddy AKA Sean John to design their paper bags.
"Hey Diddles, we got a real sitch here. No matter how beautiful we make these bags, people wanna throw them out."
"You called the right one, fam. I am the master of disposable waste."
In one of their latest ad campaigns, foreigners from fourth world countries are given Whoppers for the first time. These novices to flame broiled greatness are called Whopper Virgins. Is it because of the ensuing flow of tears tinged with a bottomless sense of regret?
Most comedians stop at three. I go beyond what is asked of me in the line of fire. Now there's this Angry Whopper pablum. That's right America, eat your emotions. This whopper comes with Angry Sauce. Angry Sauce. You know, because at the end of a drunken bender, there's nothing I want more than for a Whopper to hatefuck my mouth. [no image available]
KNOCK IT OFF BURGER KING!