Not only is today Super Tuesday but it’s also Fat Tuesday and Pancake Day as well as:
White Blues Tuesday: Annoying white frat boy blues musicians working on Wall Street affect their most annoying blues argot today. “Sho nuff the dow sho’ be down. But my dong is up—I think you know what I’m talkin’ about.” Soul patch sales usually peak at this time.
Huey Lewis and the News Tuesday: Huey Lewis calls everyone and says “This ain’t a sales call, just checkin to see if you wanna go back in time.” Christopher Lloyd doesn’t mind because he gets the call every day (and time travels).
Naghib Mahfouz Tuesday: Drunken college kids gather at the student unions and belt out short stories by the Nobel Prize winning Egyptian author as girls do keg stands while wearing wet white burkas.