Thursday, December 25, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Reason For Medicare Crisis

Sorry miss, we can't pay for that double mastectomy-hold on, got another call. Penis pump? Just say the word GO! and we totes have that covered. Wait hold on, another call: yes we do cover hookers that taste like pink lemonade but that might go towards your deductible-wait hold on, another call; no I did not know that my tax payer dollars are being used to subsidize the sex lives of gullible blue hairs."

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Third Annual Jim Belushi Unfunny Awards

Belushi For Least Funny Song: "Lying (The Barack Hussein Obama Song)"

There have been so few unfunny songs this year I had to search "Obama parody" on YouTube to find this stinker. I could have searched "Palin Eats An Ugly Singing Baby" and topped this but I could not endure further research. This is sung to the tune of "Crying" by Roy Orbison. Enjoy the epithets in the comments!

Belushi For Least Funny Viral Video: "Macy's Thankgiving Parade Day Rick Roll"

Rick Rolls in general make me Rick Roll my eyes but this one, in which Astley actually humiliates himself on a float, is too miserable for words. "Ha, I'm hip with the joke. I get the opposite effect of the RickRoll in the mirror; I expect to see myself and instead I am shocked by the spectral image of the Ghost Of Blue Eyed Soul Past."

Belushi For Least Funny Movie: Beverly Hills Chihuaha

Didn't see it. Maybe would have if it were at least called Beverly Chills Chillhuaha and it were directed by Greg Johnson.

The Belushi For Least Funny Show: Two And A Half Men

Whenever I visit my mom and my stepfather, they watch this and get mad at me for going to the computer room because I do not spend enough time with them. When I recently bashed this show at an open mike, some people were upset that I didn't like it. Not only does this three-camera monstrosity suck, but it is driving a wedge between me and the people I love.

The Belushi For Least Funny Stand-Up: Jeff Dunham

And he is the worst comic yet. At least Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia use words. Not since Carrot Top has stand-up been so brazenly travestied.

Belushi For Least Funny Sketch Comedy: Frank TV

Second year in a row. TBS, you have a lot of explaining to do. Can't you do an UnLeno and move him to late night? Or eaaarly morning.Or Turn Off Your TV Day.

Belushi For Least Funny Website: Ebaum's World

The only three time winner on this blog for best AND worst comedy.

The Big Belushi For '08: Jeff Dunham

Jeff Dunham's Christmas special this year got more viewers than a South Park episode that was inexplicably popular as well. The most viewers Comedy Central has ever had.

Stella and Dog Bites Man got canceled but this makes CC history.
Jack Bauer, You've Let Us Down

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Funniest Things Of 2008

Funniest Song Of '08: "Nutmeg," by John Legend on A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All

For the past two years rap was the genre to mine for guaranteed laughs. This year, it was a silky, sexy R&B song about one of the most universally tantalizing spices that made me bust my nut gut.

Funniest Viral Video Of '08: "Keeping Your Refrigerator Stocked Will Get You Many Women"

Not only was this year's funniest viral made by an amateur (not a professional like last year's "Landlord"), but it was made by a genuine revolutionary. For nearly a century it was assumed that the funny happened on-camera not behind the camera. Not from an exuberant cameraman. Not from an overexcited auteur who teaches you how to get laid with a well-stocked fridge. Fun fact: black people don't like bleu cheese.

Funniest Movie Of '08:
Role Models
David Wain has directed the funniest film for the second year in a row (last year he directed The Ten). Try these lines out for size: "I didn't know Jews can sing;" "Fuck you, Miss Daisy;" "Suck it, 'Reindeer Games'!"

Funniest Show of '08: 30 Rock

The first two-time winner in this blog's history: "I wish I had a Princeton reunion now, wipe that smug smile off Michelle Obama's face."

Funniest Comedian 0f '08: THREE-WAY-TIE-Paul F. Tompkins, Todd Barry, Brian Regan

Check out Best Week Ever With Paul F. Tompkins, Todd Barry's From Heaven and Brian Regan's The Epitome Of Hyperbole and try to choose which one is the best. I'd rather not do the work. Here's the best bit of the year from Brian Regan's special:

Funniest Sketch Group Of '08: Stella

The reunion of the decade

Funniest Website Of '08: College Humor

Between Hardly Working and their live stand-up videos from their NYC show, College Humor has become the NBC of the web.

Funniest Blog Post I've Written This Year:
Not Only Is It Super Tuesday