It's no secret the industry has its eye on alt-comedy now. So why be yourself? Just get yourself on the display rack at Urban Outfitters on the cover of Paste magazine with The All-Purpose Alterna-Hack Joke and you will be elbow-patch deep in alterna-snatch and drink tickets! [Ed. note: if you think I'm making fun of you in this blog post I probably am you soulless, opportunistic clone]Pay close attention to the key words in bold-I swear to your pagan warlike god these words automatically get laughs from trust-fund brats in faux-dives without fail.
So I was riding my unicorn when I saw a pirate fighting a ninja. The fight was refereed by a robot listening to Nickelback with an Ed Hardy t-shirt. I dropped my Dunston Checks In DVD and felt like my soul got raped. Am I right? I was being ironic with that last question.
6 comments:
What?! No midgets?!
C'MOOOOON... hey, how about the death of that guy playing the Joker in the Batman movie, huh? What? Jack Nicholson is dead?! Ha! Not that one, you thought I meant the Tim Burton one, but I was post-referencing a different pre-ironic hack slam!
Hey, is this thing on?
HA! Gotcha again, it isn't even plugged in, you pre-post-modern punks!
...solid gold, baby?
Roxy Music Rainbow Brite!
Dead Babies. Alan Thicke. My Grandma's involvement in my functional childhood. Whatever. (I'm wearing a hooded sweatshirt)
AND COCAINE! Whatever.
I didn't move my arms once during that whole set.
And I am smug and distant with no emotions.
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