I Would Kill Myself, But This Suicide Note Is Too Pretentious To Leave Behind

I want to kill myself in a tub of warm milk with chamomile tea bags all up in it. Jack Kerouac says that the meaning of life is living automatically. I fucking hate meetings. So yeah I wanna die. Death is such well wait I guess I don’t wanna die. No I do.

I am afraid of diabetes because it looks like too much of a hassle.

Needles, pills

Heroin is too much of a hassle.

Needles, pills.

I wanna die with a kitten on my chest Koko style

They don't make primates like that anymore

I wanna die in a massage parlor with Linda Rondstadts “Long Long Time” playing

I would kill myself but I’m afraid the FBI is reading this and getting the wrong idea.

I’m middle eastern u know.

So im not alive because I want to be alive but because I do not want to live up to the stereotype of being suicidal.

But I guess where there’s smoke there’s fire.

I am arab American – I wanna kill myself but I wanna do it with donuts and chamomile tea.

And a kitten made of insulin.