Thursday, December 06, 2007

Zen Jokewriting Journal #4

The secret to comedy: write a whole bunch of unfunny things and say the funny things onstage.

I am itchy. Life is itchy. Life is uncomfortable. We try to scratch the itch but no matter how hard we scratch it the itch comes back stronger. As Daniel Kitson would say, “metaphor for life.” I would love to burn stuff onstage (cotton candy, hair pomade) but I wonder about smoke inhalation. Maybe if I get a gig at Central Park. Yeah. Itchy situation. Dave Matthews band I hate. But they get so much hate I feel bad for them. Sure they have frat boy fans but they want hip fans. Kinda like when u want to ask the head cheerleader to the dance but instead your pimply lab partner constantly talks about getting a hand job limo driven to your house with her likeness on the hood so you constantly know what’s in store. So frat boys are like ugly lab partners. Where else do they get the GHB?

Has a famous comedian ever had ear hair? Celebrity? Puppy?

Like ear canal hair?

But I wanna be Henrix's lab partner!

Is Hendrix hip? Cuz if he isn’t I will dress like Hendrix and stalk the streets of Park Slope and Williamsburg

And the wind cries Mo.

Mo cries about his wig being itchy.

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