Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Hardline Icecreamists


Baskin Robbins, also known as Dunkin Donuts, is introducing soft serve ice cream into their stores for the first time in its 60 year existence. 60 years-that's as old as the state of Israel (both are being slowly invaded by Arabs). A little late to the party there, BR-31. I would love to be a fly on the wall of that boardroom meeting:

Our ice cream must be hard, not soft like those impotent lollygaggers at Carvel. We've got an army of 31 flavors and they are all harder than Black Sabbath before Ronnie James Dio took over. Soft! Everything is soft for kids these days. When I was ten and I accidentally bit into a hard rum raisin cone, i got a brain freeze. I enjoyed the pain though. It made me feel like I was alive. I found out what I was made of. Soft serve ice cream. It's not even ice cream, it's just cream.

-Sir, with all due respect soft serve is cheaper to produce.

- Aaah, I guess we can soften our stance

3 comments:

Jerell said...

I have and image of these executives in my head with handle bar mustaches and a southern drawl.

Mo Diggs said...

When i do it on stage i use a southern accent

Abbi said...

I really hate soft serve. I hate it. I just hate it.

My word verification is "uckhavn" which I read as Uck-haven, and that is what soft-serve machines are. An uck-haven for a worthless excuse for dessert.