Joke Junkie #2

Today's headlines, tomorrow's jokes
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Today is St Patrick's Day, a magical day in which all the streets are sprinkled with golden showers.
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A German company courts controversy with Obama Fingers, which are fried chicken tenders. The company halted production of Sanjay Gupta Dots.
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The latest Details issue has Yankee Alex Rodriguez kissing his mirror image. He was reportedly frustrated that he only got to first base.
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A man on the lam posed as his dead brother for 20 years. Police became suspicious when the man told police "I am my dead brother. BAH!"
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iPhone now has copy and paste function. No word yet on whether iPhone will have "save money and stop buying trendy gadgets" function.
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STREET JOKE OF THE DAY: A 9/11 conspiracy theorist walks into a bar. He says "Let me get a hot toddy-make sure it's Farenheit 9/11."
Tell the short-order cook at Denny's that's a grand slam!