Mundane Dream Journal: Chicago Rentals

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marvelled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams.

I had a dream that I rented a car in Chicago and forgot where the dealership was. This represents my repressed desire to eat copy machine toner with purple ribbons.

Mundane Dream Journal: Brokeback Parents

I had a dream I saw Brokeback Mountain with my parents in the theater


They dragged me to see it

I was all "NO"

But they insisted

This means I have the repressed desire to dress like an adult baby with latex diapers

Mundane Dream Journal: Britney’s Toxic DVD

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marvelled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams.

I had a dream that I was watching a Britney Spears movie on DVD that was so bad, I stopped watching it and did some work from home. This represents my repressed desire to shit on my estranged father’s chest.

Mundane Dream Journal: MyDreamSpace

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marvelled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams.

I dreamt that I checked my MySpace profile to see if the Mates of State song successfully loaded to my profile. I woke up before I could find out. This represents my repressed desire to have copious amounts of unctuous sex with vintage footwear.

Mundane Dream Journal: Dry Eyes

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marvelled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams.

I was on this Disney World ride with my friends. The ride was stopped while we were on it and this Asian gentleman with a blow out haircut stepped into the car we were in, offering to moisten our contact lenses. My friends declined, but I said sure. I expected him to put the eye drops in for me, but he made a nervous face implying I should do it myself. I tried to but I kept missing my eye.

He kept saying "Come on" until I woke up. Good thing -- I was late for work. This represents my repressed desire for the Burger King to be an Asian man.

Mundane Dream Journal: Longest Soap Opera

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marvelled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams.

I was wondering what the longest-running soap opera in history was in my dream. I guessed "Days of Our Lives" and as if to confirm it the iconic hourglass appeared on TV. This represents my repressed desire to fuck possum corpses.

Mundane Fucked Up Dream Journal: Jennifer Aniston Film

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marveled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams. Dude this dream is all like wooooooah!

Manifest content: I had a dream that I was watching a film trailer with Jennifer Aniston in this movie where she pouts a lot while We Five (playing on my iPod alarm clock at the time) is playing in the background. She particularly pouts a lot when she sees this black-haired gentleman. At the the end of the trailer she dies her hair platinum blond and so does he. The rest of the film is about a game of one-upmanship to see whose hair can be more yellow.

Latent content: I like the taste of pan-seared shit with snow cap peas.

Mundane Dream Journal: Template

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marvelled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams.

I had a dream that I was looking at my blog and someone changed my blog template design without my permission. I wasn't mad I was just surprised someone could do that without my permission. This dream represents my repressed desire to freebase cocaine.

Mundane Dream Journal: LIC

I had a dream that I was driving through Long Island City and asked my friend and someone who I couldn't see in the back if they wanted go barhopping in the area. This dream represents my repressed desire to get fucked up the ass.

Mundane Dream Journal: Ray Stevens is Not an Oracle

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marvelled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams.

I just had a dream that my coworker said that the Ray Stevens song "Ahab the Arab" predicted 9/11. I tried to prove her wrong, but I woke up. The latent meaning of this dream is that I want to kill my father.

Mundane Dream Journal: Meryl Streep Film

I had a dream that Meryl Streep was in this film about a mother who loses her kids after smoking pot. Then Tony Hale lights up a bowl and when he passes it to Meryl Streep, they show the bowl from a first-person perspective. The latent content of this dream is my desire to fuck a vampire.

Mundane Dream Journal: Bill Clinton Garage Sale

After watching The Science of Sleep on DVD, I marvelled at how much surrealism my dreams lacked. In this column I hope to reach out to people with similarly ordinary dreams.

I had this dream that I was at a garage sale and I was ruminating about how many great things happened during the Clinton era. So I have the repressed desire to find bargains and remember the '90s fondly.

One dollar for the Thigh Master. That's my final offer.