Here are some other things that may, believe it or not, put Whitey in the throes of homicidal rage:
- Screaming "Detroit what" at his kitten's funeral.
- Describing his music as a mix between Smashing Pumpkins and Zwan.
- Giving him a drive-by manicure at a strip mall.
- Locking him in a charnel house. Yup, that alone will do it.
- Saying he's too "white," hyena laughing it up and giving off one of those fucking grating post-guffaw sighs that let everyone know your laugh has come to an end. Really, your quasi-epileptic seizure is over now? Good cuz without the sigh you would be perpetually laughing. No, go ahead, sigh it up you brazen laugh whore.
- Thinking about your doorbell. Don't do it. You just did it.
- When he finally gets in your face, breaking the tension by saying "I guess a 'Seven Nation Army' can't hold you back. Hyuk hyuk sigh."
- Calling him at 5:30 in the morning like a coked-up tranny talking about your favorite Family Guy episode.
- Telling him he's the cutest Stroke.
* Photo courtesy of Meneldur through CC license