Friday, June 08, 2007

On a Personal Note: How To Namedrop Films At The ER

In this segment I tell humorous personal anecdotes. If you hate personal blog posts, skip this; there's plenty of non-personal stuff on this blog as well.

I've set the record for the amount of times "corneal abrasion" has been mentioned in a blog. Fine. One last time. My girlfriend took me to the ER when I first felt the abrasion. It felt like I had a Dorito stuck in my eye. One of those 3-D ones.

Anyhoosier, the doctor was shining this light into my eye to look at the abrasion. She wanted my girlfriend to look. Instead, my lover winced, saying it reminded her too much of Un Chien Andalou. My doctor did not get the reference but I did.

Never before had I wished to be more ignorant of Surrealist film history. While the doctor effortlessly went about her business, I was shrieking like a kitten in a vat of whipped cream. The doctor anaesthetized my eye so I felt no pain but never had a film reference cause me so much anguish. Why couln't she reference The Wizard or even The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? She could have even referenced Die Hard. I wonder if she has a list of films that directly correspond to their respective ailments?

Dick trauma: There's Something About Mary

Pregnancy: Junior

Anguish: Zapped

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