Friday, July 20, 2007

Passive-Aggressive Copy Editor Replies To Jokes E-Mailed To Her

Blonde Joke
Two blondes MALE? FEMALE? had driven across the country to see Disney World DISNEY WORLD IS BIG; WHERE IN DISNEY WORLD? EPCOT? MAGIC KINGDOM? PLEASURE ISLAND? in Florida.WHEN? WHAT CITY IN FLORIDA???


As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
REALLY??? WOULDN'T THAT LEAD THEM TO ONCOMING TRAFFIC? WHAT HIGHWAY IS THIS???

After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde
BLONDE DRIVER YOU MEAN?? said "Oh well!" CURLY QUOTES and started driving back home.WHY DIDN'T SHE MAKE TWO LEFTS AND A RIGHT AFTER GETTING OFF THE EXIT RAMP? YOU NEED TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS



Sex Joke

A beautiful, voluptuous woman NAME? AGE?went to a
gynecologist.

The doctor took one look at this woman and all his
professionalism went out the window.ALLEGEDLY
He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the
doctor began to stroke
her thigh.ACCORDING TO THE INDICTMENT, RIGHT? Doing
so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she WHY NO NAME? DID THE POLICE NOT DISCLOSE THE
VICTIM'S NAME? IF SO YOU NEED
TO MENTION THIS.
replied, "you're checking for any
abrasions WHAT KIND? CORNEAL?
or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said
the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do
you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or
breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctorPLEASE
REMAIN OBJECTIVE IN YOUR
REPORTING.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual
intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm
doing now?"
"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; NO SEMICOLON
which is
why I came
here in the first place." WHAT? NO QUOTES FROM THE
DOCTOR'S ATTORNEY?


Bar Joke

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, NO COMMA when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, TRY A RIGHT-BRANCHING SENTENCE HERE and one Texan turned to the other and said, "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help."
He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his bigWEAK TRY BROBDIGNAGIAN, TexanGEE IS HE TEXAN hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?" Gasping, she shook her head no.NO IS REDUNDANT; SHAKING YOUR HEAD MEANS NO IN THIS CULTURE
He asked, "Kin ya breathe (SIC GOTTA SAY SIC) ?" Still gasping, she again shook her head no. With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her on the butt.LICKED HER BUTT; PLEASE AVOID UNNECESSARY PREPOSITIONS The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began to breathe on her own.
The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick manoeuvreHEIMLICH FOR FUCK'S SAKE HEIMLICH YOU IGNORANT FUCKTARD PLEASE CUT MY LAWN OR SERVE MY CHECKER'S CHILI DOG OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU DO YOU MISERABBLE WASTE OF HUMAN TISSUE/STET always works."





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