Monday, March 03, 2008

PITCH: Alt-Comedy Poser RPG

Alt-rock tastemakers Pitchfork get into the videogaming world by picking tracks for a baseball video game. So let's take it one step further and imagine an RPG for alt-comedy posers:

You are at an open mic and you fail miserably. You:

a) graciously accept your demise and realize that you need to grow
b) storm off the stage hanging your head in shame
c) throw in an ironic cheesy lounge singer save ("Am I right," "tip your waitstaff")

You picked (c). Am I right?

The mic is over and the comics split into different cliques, all of them engrossed in shop talk. You gravitate towards:

a) the comics that are popular
b) the quiet kid in the corner
c) your mama's house for beer money

You picked (c). Three bucks huh? Couldn't get that from a friend?

While you were at momma's house she bestowed upon you a camcorder. You:

a) tape your sets and develop your craft
b) make a short comedic film in the spirit of Keaton and Brooks
c) do an ironic, knowing '80s parody with mustaches and chest hair

You picked (c). "Magnum PR" gets a thousand views for one day but drops off the radar the next.

No worries, you now got a gig at the Slipper Room. This can be your big shot. You:

a) tell ten minutes of tight, strong material
b) engage the audience as a provocateur on the level of Andy Kaufman
c) take five minutes wasting everyone's time setting up your laptop as a film projector

You picked (c). No one laughed at the film, but now people know you want to make films so a bevy of indie cuties work their way to your table.

You are like Albert Brooks or Steve Martin now. You must choose between screen or stage. Do you want to:

a) make viral YouTube clips that will be remembered a maximum of two years down the line
b) keep doing stand-up until you realize that no one wants to pay for your material
c) shoot yourself while listening to Elliot Smith

You picked (c). In case you didn't notice, I make the decisions here.


Jerell said...

How much exp. points would I need if I'm fighting a drunk heckler?

Ed Murray said...


Fucking great, man.

Very funny.

Mo Diggs said...

jerell: 100 points, but only if the heckler is a plant

ed murray: thanks

Ethan722 said...

Is the a spell to attack the darkness at the parkside? And then once the realization occurs that the lighting situation wasn't the actual problem it's back to the beginning.

Mo Diggs said...

is this ethan mawyer?

Ethan722 said...

If you looked at my profile and the blogs in it at all it would be pretty clear who I am.

Abbi said...

I just don't see how you can fail in skin-tight jeans, a flannel shirt or a fedora tipped back. It's just NOT POSSIBLE.