This is my first blog post in almost a year! New post, new segment! Exclamation point! I've been sober for seven months. As a result, I have dreams of drinking and drugging.
I figured I'd catalog these dreams in a journal, which is like my Mundane Dream Journal, but sadder.
I dreamt that I was drinking at a hotel bar in England. There was this tradition where everyone drank on Sunday morning the way Americans drink on Saturday night. I had noodles and walked around the hotel drunk.
What I find most disturbing about this dream is that fifteen years ago I would have dreamed that I was kissing Alicia Silverstone in a space shuttle. Nowadays the space shuttle is a hotel lounge and instead of Alicia Silverstone on my lips I have Jack Daniels. That is a fantasy of mine now, to drink in the daytime at a hotel bar. Hopefully in seven months I'll dream that I'm drinking a whiskey flask at a roadside grave.
This is one of the best lineups in a long time! Join host Tim Warner (opened for Doug Stanhope) as he presents some of the very best up and coming comedians in New York City including:
* Dan Goodman (opened for Drew Carey, BEST stand-up comedy writer in NYC)
* Adrienne Iapalucci (Winner of the People’s Choice Opening Act Competition @ New York Comedy Festival)
* Jeff Wesselschmidt (Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival)
* Jessie Richardson (writer for Witstream [check out her quips here http://www.witstream.com/Public/Page...px?Lister=161])
* Harry Terjanian (MTV U)
* Maddog Mattern (Sirius XM)
* Mo Diggs (Time Out New York.com, MTV.com)
* Pat Rigby
Wednesday March 24
Intermission
When: Wed, March 24, 7:30pm – 9pm Where: Ochi's Lounge, 353 W. 14th Street New York, NY NO COVER!!! ONE ITEM MINIMUM!!
I'm gonna be doing a Greenpoint comedy show tonight. Very exciting because Greenpoint really is a very interesting place for comedy. Coco 66 has some great shows. But tonight's show that I'm doing (World's Greatest Grandson) is at Van Gogh's Radio Lounge. How exciting is that name? Sounds like a steampunk comedy club.
Here's what comic/producer of the show Bill Chambers has to say: Tonight! World's Greatest Grandson World's Greatest Grandson returns in March with shit loads of fuck-all! This month we have: Dan Goodman! Adrienne Iapalucci! Dan Mahoney! Mo Diggs! Tim Warner! Fraser Young! and sketch comedy by...World's Greatest Grandson returns in March with shit loads of fuck-all!
This month we have:
Dan Goodman! Adrienne Iapalucci! Dan Mahoney! Mo Diggs! Tim Warner! Fraser Young! and sketch comedy by Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting!
Hosted by Bill Chambers!
Tuesday, 3/2/2010 Van Gogh's Radio Lounge 147 Franklin St (btwn India & Java) Greenpoint, Brooklyn G Train to Greenpoint Ave
In addition to the great selection of comedians we have scheduled for tomorrow night, I'm very happy to announce a rare special appearance by The Dare To Be Stupid Dancers.
If you aren't already aware of TDTBSD, it's essentially a bunch of fat kids in Hawaiian shirts, dancing around to "Weird Al" Yankovic songs.
They really have a lot of fun, laughing and dancing to "I Love Rocky Road" and other Weird Al songs, just laughing their fat asses off, doing the "Monkey" and the "Funky Chicken" and so forth, until they're all on the floor, rolling around, giggling hysterically.
It's pretty much the best thing ever; you really have to see it.
Weird Al dancers. WEIRD AL DANCERS!!!! C'mon you can DVR Lost (I am). Come watch me and the Weird Al Yankovich dancers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This song doesn't have much retro kitsch value. When people remember the good ole days, they wanna remember Duran Duran's "Rio" or Michael Jackson's "Thriller." They don't want to remember this midtempo adult-contemporary blue eyed soul hit from 1985 about suicide. "You're Only Human" was written by Billy Joel in order to prevent teens from killing themselves. Might as well fix a drum by cutting it open and doing surgery.
I don't know what's sadder; that this existed or that when I was nine and I saw this at the end of "Entertainment Tonight" I was moved. The metal guys were "mean" in my opinion back then because the news said they sang about suicide as a good thing but Billy Joel wanted people to NOT do that, so he joined Mr. T and Punky Brewster in my League of '80s Good Guys.
The video is about this kid who wants to jump off a bridge (presumably because he's wearing a denim vest) but Billy Joel swoops in and shows him what life would be like without him like in "It's a Wonderful Life." The drowning teen is Adam Savage, host of MythBusters. Ironic moment: at one point Billy Joel is sipping champagne while sitting on a car.
Despite the depressing lyrics, the music is upbeat and peppy. Even ABBA knew better than to write a song about suicide with...
Oh yeah, at one point, Billy Joel flubs a verse, and laughs. Glad to see you're having fun Piano Man. If it's OK with you, I'm going to choke myself on the vomit you've so graciously induced from me. One of the lines in the song is "You're supposed to make mistakes." Ah, but you're not supposed to record them.
VIDEO NOT AVAILABLE FOR EMBEDDING (SURPRISE SURPRISE)
Well truthfully I've gotten out of the habit of blogging on this site. This site has become more of a one-stop-shop for all thing Mo Diggs. Indeed, your best bet will be to check the Twitter feed to the right. THAT'S where the action is?
Why not so much blogging? Short of it is I work at a place where I don't have time to blog and I do stand-up at night. Of course, there will ALWAYS be exceptions. For instance, I love doing my year-end lists. Plus every now and then I have some long-winded fluff I wanna write about the nature of comedy.
But instead of seeing this site as a "blog" consider it a place to see what's up with Mo. With Mo's tweets, Facebooks, upcoming shows, etc.
And rest assured, if there is ever any SUBSTANTIAL news I want to share (getting interviewed by Gothamist, etc) I will post it here first.
John Oliver's new stand-up show, "John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show" premieres tomorrow at 11 pm with Maria Bamford, Nick Kroll, Greg Fitzsimmons and Eugene Mirman. Future guests will include Paul F. Tompkins, Janeane Garofalo, Marc Maron, Brian Posehn, Kristen Schaal, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Matt Braunger, Hannibal Buress, Pete Holmes, Amy Schumer, Chris Hardwick, Matt McCarthy and Hari Kondabolu.
Lonely Island has always hit it out the park with their demented raps. But this glorious paean to pajamas and drugged up knife fights is a bona fide grand slam.
"The pills take hold of your mind and flesh/You're brave and strong; you don't fear death!" Line of the year, bumper sticker of tomorrow.
Funniest Viral Video of 2009: Keyboard Cat
A video shot in the '80s in which a cat plays a keyboard became more than another novelty cat video; it became the all-purpose punchline, used to play off blotto starlets, dunder-headed senators -- any bonehead that drew a blogger's ire. Play us off!
Funniest Movie of 2009: The Hangover
FINALLY! A winner in this category that people have actually seen. Ed Helms, Brad Cooper and Ken Jeong were fine but make no mistake: it was the improvisational dexterity of Zach Galifianakis (he of the best web series, "Between Two Ferns") that led to classic moments like "reTARD" and the baby jackoff scene.
Funniest Television Show Of 2009: "Curb Your Enthusiasm"
Heir apparent to the HBO throne of LA asshole comedies (spawned by "The Larry Sanders Show", natch), "Curb Your Enthusiasm" steered clear of the sitcom cliches of CBS sitcoms and the overwritten excesses of NBC sitcoms at their worst, focusing on the only thing that matters: character. A hapless schlemiel of a character that gave us the comedy event of the year: the "Seinfeld" reunion.
Funniest Stand-Up Comedian of 2009: Paul F. Tompkins
The first two-time winner in this category was the funniest because:
a) he was the best podcast guest of the year
b) he had the funniest album of the year, Freak Wharf
c) all of the above.
"C" is the answer. Apologies to Tompkins for not making "street smart" an option.
Funniest Comedy Double Album Of 2009: Final Engagement, Marc Maron
True this is an arbitrary distinction since there were hardly any other comedy double albums this year, but Marc Maron deserves recognition this year as well. Between this ferociously funny album and his WTF podcast, expect Maron to spearhead the trend in sincere, personal comedy in the upcoming decade along with Louis CK.
Funniest Sketch Group: Derrick
The Mystery Team trailer speaks for itself.
Funniest Website Of 2009: Witstream
So many hilarious quips on Twitter and Facebook. How do you cut through the garbage and find the funny? Enter Witstream, a site founded by Michael Ian Black and Lisa Cohen. Now Paul F. Tompkins, Moshe Kasher and Doug Benson are on the same page along with other great comedians giving you their minute to minute thoughts on everything from movies to bad gigs. It's like Twitter distilled into a new art form: jokes. Funniest Podcast Of 2009: Best Show On WFMU
Funniest things ever: Paul F. Tompkins and Tom Scharpling riffing on the juggalos as well as Jon Wurster calling up and requesting a song called "Jazz Fart" by Frank Zappa. Don't know if this is a real song; don't care. The winner now and forever is The Best Show. Everything else is soft serve!
Though the prevailing doxa seems to be that alternative comedy was the biggest movement of the past ten years, the truth is future history books will mark this decade as the one in which stand-up got fragmented. The red states had blue-collar comedy; the ghettos had The Kings of Comedy; the suburban mooks yukked it up listening to Rich Vos and Jim Norton; and, yes, the hipsters were slapping their tightly-jeaned knees watching Comedians of Comedy DVDs.
It is thus keeping in mind all these disparate comedy movements that I present the most influential comedians of the decade. These are not necessarily my favorite comedians of the decade. If that were the case, you would see Paul F. Tompkins, Marc Maron and Maria Bamford on this list. For better or worse though, these ten comics were the ones that open mikers sheepishly aped this decade while trying to find their voice. These are the ten comics that shaped people's expectations of stand-up over the past ten years. Some of the comics on this list even helped introduce stand-up to markets that no one would have previously thought of (blogs, indie rock festivals). Here, then, are the ten most important comics of the nascent millenium.
10) Louis CK
No comedian has more respect uptown and downtown than Louis CK. True, sincerity was not as popular as irony in this decade and if this were a list of beloved comics, CK would be ranked much higher. But it is only recently that comics have begun to talk about break-ups and childhood trauma with the same soulful, gut-wrenching intensity that he is known for. Whether Dane Cook did indeed steal those jokes from him or not, we can at least count that incident as evidence that CK's lowbrow/highbrow/anything-but-middlebrow style had a significant impact in arenas as well as in faux-dives nationwide.
9) Mitch Hedberg
Of course Mitch Hedberg helped open the floodgates for one-liner comics worldwide. But his most lasting contribution would be his laid-back, stoner delivery. You'd be hard-pressed to find a comic who sounded like they had more fun onstage than he did. More cynical readers may point out that heroin would make anyone happy, but therein lies the rub: heroin addicts often end up taking heroin not to get high; after a certain point users never feel high on smack again. They simply take it to ease the pain in their stomachs.
This is the exact opposite of Hedberg's comedy. There are moments on Strategic Grill Locations when he flubs the delivery to his jokes or tells undeveloped zingers. Those moments aren't only acceptable; they leave indelible impressions on the listener's mind. Many comedians have since tried to recreate the loose, goofy, comedic vibe that Hedberg brought to rooms nationwide; none have come close.
8) Aziz Ansari
Before you click the "Publish Your Comment" button, angry readers, consider this: Aziz Ansari was the first comic to use blog buzz to advance his career the way stand-ups used The Tonight Show or Dangerfield specials 20 years ago. Before YouTube, Ansari was making viral online videos with Human Giant ("Shutterbugs") and without them ("Aziz's Shitty Mixtape"). Anybody who has made the comics in the back laugh with jokes about shitty action movies and dumb R&B songs owes him at least another listen. And yes, in an age where Arabs, Sikhs, Indians, Pakistanis and Turks were indiscriminately called "towelheads," there he was, crossing over to white audiences and paving the way for great brown comics like Hari Kondabolu.
7) Jeff Foxworthy
According to a New York Times article, Comedy Central largely overlooked Jeff Dunham until the suits saw that The Blue Collar Comedy Tour was such a success. Though Larry the Cable Guy was the breakaway star, Jeff Foxworthy initially attracted attention to one of the most lucrative movements of the decade.
Before you shit on Foxworthy, check out this clip from Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? His quick wit and good-natured delivery help save this from turning into a mean-spirited humiliation of a grown woman who should have paid more attention in math class as well as chemistry class.
6) Bernie Mac
One of the great lessons of ethnic comedy in this decade: it wouldn't be enough to talk about your race. An audience raised on Def Comedy Jam and hip-hop skits knew everything about the difference between black people and white people. While Bernie Mac would remind us of the similarities between blacks and whites, he did not resort to Bill Cosby's gentle delivery. Indeed, Mac's rapid-fire cadences hearkened back to the fire-and-brimstone Pentecostal preacher style of Sam Kinison. His personal material, where he mostly aired his family's dirty laundry, was a precursor to Louis CK's shockingly confessional bits on wiping shit from his daughter's vagina. The Bernie Mac Show was also a revelation. This decade's answer to The Cosby Show, the Emmy Award-winning program would get shuffled around the TV schedule like every other show on Fox that should never have been canceled. In truth, it's amazing that a show about a borderline abusive father even got greenlit to begin with. A closer look reveals that, like his blustery stand-up act, there was a redolent sweetness reminding us that he acted this way because he loved the kids -- and he respected the audience.
5) Dave Attell
To a certain extent, Dave Attell almost ruined comedy clubs. Thousands of up-and-comers have flooded bringer shows with lesser jokes about sex with trannies and midgets. Truth be told, it is not easy to say what makes Attell better than these wannabe cool jerks. Delivery comes to mind. Every word that leaves his mouth is marked "Important." There is nothing casual about this man; every breath seems to have smoke behind it.
Or perhaps it's his laser-like focus on nightlife. No comic books or rug rats here: every joke he has told has been about alcohol, weed, sex, cocaine -- anything that we indulge in between 5 pm and 4 am to help us escape our humdrum existences (and to help us forget his legions of humdrum imitators).
4) Sarah Silverman
You mean to tell me that attractive female comics spontaneously decided in this decade to tell off-color jokes about black men, anorexia and child abuse? Truth is, Sarah Silverman had the same impact on many comediennes this decade that Eddie Vedder had on "alternative" rock singers in the '90s: everyone sounded like them.
What the imitators lack is her silliness. Most of the clones would make fun of Martin Luther King for shock value; few have the imagination and verve Silverman had to tell a hilariously preposterous lie about MLK farting in a car with the windows up and the heat on full blast.
3) Todd Barry
True, few comics were dumb enough to try to affect Todd Barry's low -energy style. But Barry's snarky quips about shitty rock musicians would permeate alternative comedy scenes nationwide, spawning imitators left and right. Comics were also drawn to his detached, wry take on urban life, taking jabs at conversations overheard at restaurants as well as knee-jerk ineffectual liberals that bring a bad name to the left.
Lest you think that Barry is a boutique act that only has hipster cachet, watch this Letterman clip, where each joke has laughs and an applause break.
2) David Cross
David Cross would have been number one, but it seems his influence started to wane as the decade wore on. Less comics -- both indie and mainstream -- would do topical material. Even the angry, insolent tone would become less and less popular.
But it was Cross who ultimately attracted attention to alternative comedy in the first place. Simply listen to Aziz Ansari's self-effacing quip on the Invite Them Up compilation CD, where he imagines a listener skipping his track: "Fuck Aziz Ansari; David Cross, where is he at?" For a long time, Cross was the biggest indie comic out there. His stint on Arrested Development certainly didn't hurt. Neither did his cult following from his Mr. Show days.
The most important legacy Cross gave us, however, was taking comedy out of the comedy clubs and into the rock clubs. In 2000, Cross went on a rock tour with Ultrababyfat, helping fuel the Comedians of Comedy tour as well as giving impetus to the deluge of comedy tents at indie rock festivals.
1) Patton Oswalt
Sure David Cross attracted audiences to indie comedy, but Patton Oswalt would keep them coming back for more. It is because of Oswalt that every geek with a comic book collection thought they could tell jokes. It is because of Oswalt that Zach Galifianakis, Brian Posehn and Maria Bamford got the attention they deserved through the Comedians of Comedy tour.
But when scholars hundreds of years from now discuss the significance of Patton Oswalt, they will all point to his tone. Granted, very few comics can stray from cynicism for long and his screed against KFC bowls is served with a big helping of bile. But before Oswalt, almost no comics talked about their passions. Love was almost always out of the equation.
Yet there he was, recounting his hilariously detailed obsessions with giant women, Alvin and the Chipmunk records, celebrity chefs and film producer Robert Evans. The reason Oswalt was the obvious choice to star in films like Big Fan and Ratatouille was because the two lead characters in those films needed his infectious zeal to come to life. It is this lust for life that had as many comics joking about the things they love in this decade as The Beatles had musicians singing about love in the '60s.
Great comedians tell greater jokes. Lesser comics either tell lesser jokes or tell greater jokes in lesser form.
Lesser jokes? Lesser jokes are jokes that are either hackneyed, obvious or generic. If you are a comedian who really cares about comedy or who reads blogs about comedy, you probably know better than to write hacky or obvious jokes. But generic jokes? Not so easy to avoid. You could start off with a joke that's very original but end up adding a generic tag. Or you can write a purely generic joke.
A generic joke? Wow, you know nothing! A generic joke is more or less a joke that ANYONE can make. Comics may know better than to avoid the trap of airplane jokes, but how many do you think are making jokes about the movie 2012? A lot. I'm sure some great comics have jokes about 2012. But the lesser comics are the ones who are, say, calling the movie a disaster. The greater comics are the ones who managed to write 2012 jokes that fit their persona -- or at least jokes that not simply any idiot can write.
Because the joke that any dummy can write is the stand-up equivalent of buying a rubber chicken at a novelty store. Neither gag has a pulse.
WARNING: Do not watch unless you have never taken psychedelic drugs before.
Flipping through the channels, I found The Barbie Channel. Why not? Maybe it was a bunch of Barbie dolls in videos, like a Todd Haynes film. I found this video entitled "Unbelievable" Barbie and the Three Musketeers Music Video.
The first thing you notice in this video is the creepy kitten faces. The lead singer has this creepy smile that makes her look more like Richard James than a cat. And why are the back-up kitties trying to pull off all these salacious moves? It's like you're watching a little girl's beauty pageant for furries. The lyrics aren't even the same. It's like an unfunny song parody of EMF's "Unbelievable" with half-baked lyrics about girl power.
I feel like the dog at 2:24. Jump to 0:38 to skip to the beginning of the "song."
It's been said before: politically incorrect jokes don't work unless they're funny. Well all jokes don't work unless they are funny. But some jokes challenge the prevailing social mores of race, religion etc. and yet-
GAAAH! This is why I more or less quit comedy journalism. Just know this: comedian Dan Goodman is the real thing. Comedy sites like The Apiary and The Comic's Comic have been profiling hot up-and-coming alt comics. They are great, but when it comes to great up-and-comers who get respect downtown and uptown like Louis CK and Bill Burr, the number one name that comes to mind is Dan Goodman.
Well he's got a new website that you should check out.
Oof. That's gotta hurt! It's one thing for David Cross or Chris Rock to say this. But when the producer for your target demographic has stuff to say-when Biloxi Danny Rose-gives you a bitchslap, that's gotta chafe. Guess even Cletus stopped drinking the Kool-Aid!
The Check Spot is a news and comedy podcast run by Dave Greek (comedian), Dan Cartwright (comedian) and Arthur Carlson. Comedian Sue Funke fills in for Carlson on this episode, where we talk about Balloon Boy (two days after the story broke), gay rights, Tracy Morgan and Ice-T.
Check out the episode here. While you're at it, check out the other episodes. This is more or less a who's who of up-and-coming comics.
It's no secret the industry has its eye on alt-comedy now. So why be yourself? Just get yourself on the display rack at Urban Outfitters on the cover of Paste magazine with The All-Purpose Alterna-Hack Joke and you will be elbow-patch deep in alterna-snatch and drink tickets! [Ed. note: if you think I'm making fun of you in this blog post I probably am you soulless, opportunistic clone]Pay close attention to the key words in bold-I swear to your pagan warlike god these words automatically get laughs from trust-fund brats in faux-dives without fail.
So I was riding my unicorn when I saw a pirate fighting a ninja. The fight was refereed by a robot listening to Nickelback with an Ed Hardy t-shirt. I dropped my Dunston Checks In DVD and felt like my soul got raped.Am I right? I was being ironic with that last question.
The word "hack" gets thrown around in comedy circles like the word "communist" gets thrown around Beltway conservative pundit conversations about Obama: its overuse builds to a sort of glossolalia to the point where one almost forgets what either word means.
Perhaps journalism can show us the way.
Most cub reporters start off picking up faxes/e-mails and writing brief stories about charity bake sales, Halloween safety tips, etc. Then they graduate to real local news briefs about robberies, murders, etc. Eventually, they graduate to in-depth features, a cover story, maybe even their own column.
The same can be said for comedians. Many comedians start off with "news brief" jokes ("This is in the news..."). At the very least, they start off with brief jokes that anyone can write. News wire stories from the AP or Reuters have very little personality. Similarly, hacks are more concerned with content and timeliness than style.
Great comedians, then, are like feature writers: very thorough, thought-provoking writers with their own personal flair. Richard Pryor; Maria Bamford; Andy Kaufman; Bill Burr-all very different comedians and yet they can all be considered "feature writer" comics.
The best a "news brief" comic can hope for is a monologue writing job for Conan or Letterman. For a "feature writer" comic the sky's the limit.
As unremarkable as news brief comics can get, they are also well-versed in the fundamentals that a feature writer comic knows cold and builds on: strong punchlines, timing, clarity. Feature writers have difficulty at first bringing clarity and focus to difficult issues like whether public health is socialist, much like feature writer comedians might initially experience frustration trying to make their personal bits accessible.
There is overlap of course. Great comedians likes Andres DuBouchet and A.D. Miles write monologue jokes for Conan and Fallon. Similarly, a feature writer can probably write a news brief in her sleep. But news brief writers and news brief comics who only do briefs have difficulty making the feature leap; some may be so happy with the money and/or travel that brief guys get to experience that they never want to write features.
Although the majority of news brief writer comedians are hacks, there are exceptions -- comedians who write their brief jokes with a certain panache. Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg come to mind. They have relatively simple jokes but the delivery and mannerisms make all the difference. So if you do find yourself more comfortable talking about Sarah Palin's latest gaffe, make sure to include your own personal stamp or else you will end up being yesterday's news before you know it.
Once Al Gore stopped pretending to be a 'serious' politician and started making fun of himself, he suddenly became a lot more likeable and trustworthy - even when he was delivering an inconvenient truth.
Wasn't Bush self-deprecating? Yeah - WAY after the fact. When he made his flubs, he never addressed them immediately. He just said them with such a serious face one couldn't help but laugh at him.
So politicians; be more Jon Stewart, less Stephen Colbert.
When I was 13, nothing was funnier than an orgasm in a pop song. Twenty years later, you would think I would stop howling with laughter at the ecstatic moans toward the end of this song. Trouble is, these moans are sequenced with synthesizers, making it sound like a sex piano (or sex keytar).
What's makes it even funnier is as these moans creep up on the soundtrack, the female protagonist faints in front of an open fridge. You're welcome.
