Comedians Are Bad Porn Actors

We’ve all heard that old canard: people become comedians because they want to make people laugh. That’s like saying people get into porn because they like to fuck. Who doesn’t like to fuck or make people laugh?

Just like almost every porn star was sexually abused, 99 percent of comics were verbally abused. Good comedians want to make people laugh; great comedians want revenge.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the porn and comedy industries are filled with fuck-ups; the industries themselves are capitalist perversions of things that humans have naturally enjoyed. Getting a rim job, sharing a laugh—these are intimate moments that normal people are content with experiencing without an audience or a paycheck.

And just like a porn actor’s worst nightmare is impotence, a comedian’s worst nightmare is being successfully zung by the school bully.

Sometimes those bullies aren’t people but institutions (religion, capitalism, Aerosmith). From Richard Pryor to David Cross, comedians have had a chip on their shoulder.

Aerosmith: the reason for alternative rock and comedy

So do I like to make people laugh? Almost as much as I want to make bullies cry and porn stars cum.