Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Hollywood Heckler: Cracked Lists 5 Worst Comedies of All Time

Hollywood Heckler is a new column in which I berate unfunny films.

Cracked Magazine named the five worst comedies. Their list is pretty bad but I have my own list that puts that list - or itself, rather - to shame.

5) Big Trouble The only Tim Allen film I've had the misfortune of seeing, Big Trouble is based on a Dave Barry book. That's the first problem; it's based on a book written by the comedic equivalent of Jimmy Buffet. OK fine, I've never read Dave Barry. Nor do I want to. My stepdad read the book and saw this Barry Sonnenfeld monstrosity (Sonnenfeld also helmed Wild Wild West, Patton Oswalt's pick for worst film) and he found both of them funny.

4) Scary Movie 4 The Scary Movies got less funny with each installment. This is the latest one. The Zuckers at this stage in their careers were right-wing hacks not the deconstructionist wizards they were during the heyday of Airplane.

3) Employee of the Month As much as I find Carlos Mencia annoying, at least he has the good sense to stay away from feature films. Employee of the Month has one of the worst premises in Hollywood history: what if Jessica Simpson had big ears?

2) Nothing But Trouble Though one might assume I like Biggie more than Tupac because I am a New Yorker, the real reason is that Tupac was in this Dan Akroyd-penned monstrosity. If you look at Chevy Chase's "career" on IMDB, you'll see that prior to this, he had Christmas Vacation, his last big hit. This was the first nucleotide in the repeating DNA sequence of shit that has become Chevy Chase's career.

1) Loose Cannons A movie about a vice cop and a detective searching for a pornographic Nazi film is not a bad idea. Now Dan Akroyd and Dom Deluise on the same screen, that's a recipe for celluloid cyanide.


Cibbuano said...

I read big trouble, and I saw the movie. The book isn't bad... it's pretty entertaining. The movie is awful, even with that huge cast.

Mo Diggs said...

Even Zooey Deschanel could not save it

Jerell said...

No Caddyshack 2, Howard the Duck, ISHTAR?!

Mo Diggs said...

Those are too obvious. Plus as much as I dislike Ishtar, Elaine May was part of the legendary comedy duo Nichols and May so the less I attack her the better. The others were complete garbage. But if this were a top ten list, I would definitely include those films.

Ed Murray said...

Good picks.

I do have to say, I re-watched Cannonball Run a few months ago ... even as a novelty, it doesn't hold up to the genius-level it had achieved in my cleavage-addled 4-year old mind.

Dreck starring Burt Dreckolds and Dreck Deluise featuring Farrah Fawcett's nipples.

... but oh, those soft Adrienne Barbeaus ...

Benari said...

Amazing that Dan Akroyd is in TWO top spots. I'd peg Nothing But Trouble as the all time worst, though. No excuse for that. And since you included parody movies, I have to put in a vote for Plump Fiction. Awful.

Mo Diggs said...

Wow you guys have good/bad taste in movies.