Zen Jokewriting Journal #2

Zen Buddhists advise against getting in your own way so here are my thoughts when I get out of my own way.
The morning is the most annoying time of the day. All the rituals are like a sound check for the concert that is the rest of the day. One thing goes wrong and the show sucks. Not taking a shower is like Art Garfunkel smoking cigarettes and gargling cream before he gets onstage. I am turning into an older Italian lady at work. Try not fitting in with people who are nice to you. It's ok though. I am still myself. I am like the straight man at the office. The girls tell raunchy jokes and I act shocked. I'm not really shocked that they would tell pussy jokes at an ob/gyn office, but my mom works there so I have to act shocked. If I don't leave right now I might get off of the "I'm Shocked I'm Listening to Pussy Jokes" show. Namaste. That was one of the word's Patton Oswalt used to end his essay. They also use it on "Lost." Namaste is the coolest word ever. I gotta take a shit. Bye.