If comedy is when someone expresses pain and anguish to make people laugh, then the opposite is when people laugh to make other people cringe and writhe in unfathomable horror.
Showing posts with label ???. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ???. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
World Cinema: Sexi Babushka
In this segment I look at world cinema on YouTube. Today we'll look at Ukranian comedy. NSFW (MOST WORK)
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Rebuttal to Article Announcing My Death
Comedian Dead at Age 36
Why the generic word comedian? Can't you use my full name?
On March 31st, 2012, comedian and blogger Mo Diggs was gored by a rhinoceros's horn in the Congo.
I hope this guy spelled rhinoceros right. I don't get Merriam-Webster in...where am I anyway?
An enthusiast of jungle safari tours-
Whaa? I get dragged to those by my friends. I don't even like the web browser Safari.
Mo Diggs's death has had an incredible impact on the comedy community.
Wow that's nice I guess.
Andrew Dice Clay said he was one of the best comedians ever.
I've never even met Dice.
"I seen him at the Parkside open mike on Saturday. He was so good I wish I didn't take a shit behind the stage during his set."
So that's what smelled like leather and shit.
Diggs also had a lot of respect in the blogging community with his own blog and his column for The Apiary. Apiary Editor-in-Chief Nate Sloan says, “Get a breakout title like ‘Chappelle’s Show,’ and sell three million copies on DVD at $25 apiece, and you’ll find 75 million reasons for MTV to invest in comedy."
Wait that quote was from the Human Giant article. The NY Times really needs a better copy editor.
Most readers will remember him for his work in "Human Giant"-
That's Aziz Ansari!
as well as his minor role in 13 Going on 30-
That's Maz Jobrani
and his Oscar-winning breakout role in Dreamgirls-
I really need to edit my Wikipedia entry.
Even in death though Mo Diggs has made people laugh.
Oh?
Yeah, Ebaum's World has the video of the fateful rhino attack on its front page.
Was it not good enough for College Humor? That's the last time I smoke a cigarette with you, Streeter Seidell!
Comedian Award-winning comic and friend of Diggs, RG Daniels, remembers him fondly.
Wow that's cool. It's a quote so they can't mess this up.
"Mo died way too soon. He had so much potential. Just a few more years and he would have been funny."
Why the generic word comedian? Can't you use my full name?
On March 31st, 2012, comedian and blogger Mo Diggs was gored by a rhinoceros's horn in the Congo.
I hope this guy spelled rhinoceros right. I don't get Merriam-Webster in...where am I anyway?
An enthusiast of jungle safari tours-
Whaa? I get dragged to those by my friends. I don't even like the web browser Safari.
Mo Diggs's death has had an incredible impact on the comedy community.
Wow that's nice I guess.
Andrew Dice Clay said he was one of the best comedians ever.
I've never even met Dice.
"I seen him at the Parkside open mike on Saturday. He was so good I wish I didn't take a shit behind the stage during his set."
So that's what smelled like leather and shit.
Diggs also had a lot of respect in the blogging community with his own blog and his column for The Apiary. Apiary Editor-in-Chief Nate Sloan says, “Get a breakout title like ‘Chappelle’s Show,’ and sell three million copies on DVD at $25 apiece, and you’ll find 75 million reasons for MTV to invest in comedy."
Wait that quote was from the Human Giant article. The NY Times really needs a better copy editor.
Most readers will remember him for his work in "Human Giant"-
That's Aziz Ansari!
as well as his minor role in 13 Going on 30-
That's Maz Jobrani
and his Oscar-winning breakout role in Dreamgirls-
I really need to edit my Wikipedia entry.
Even in death though Mo Diggs has made people laugh.
Oh?
Yeah, Ebaum's World has the video of the fateful rhino attack on its front page.
Was it not good enough for College Humor? That's the last time I smoke a cigarette with you, Streeter Seidell!
Comedian Award-winning comic and friend of Diggs, RG Daniels, remembers him fondly.
Wow that's cool. It's a quote so they can't mess this up.
"Mo died way too soon. He had so much potential. Just a few more years and he would have been funny."
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Zen Jokewriting Journal
In the spirit of alternative comedy rooms from the '90s, when authenticity was the craze, I'm writing a Zen jokewriting journal. Zen Buddhists advise against getting in your own way so here are my thoughts when I get out of my own way.
"North American Scum" is ringing in my head. Ringing in my head. Do songs actually ring? Besides Pink Floyd songs? Zen comedy. Some Christians are moderate and only go to church every month. I wish moderate Islamic jihadists would only blow up certain parts of their clothing like their hats. That would look more festive. Comedy consists of talking 'bout your worst fears. Mine is being thrown in a dumpster full of mayonnaise-covered rats and realizing I'm gay.
"North American Scum" is ringing in my head. Ringing in my head. Do songs actually ring? Besides Pink Floyd songs? Zen comedy. Some Christians are moderate and only go to church every month. I wish moderate Islamic jihadists would only blow up certain parts of their clothing like their hats. That would look more festive. Comedy consists of talking 'bout your worst fears. Mine is being thrown in a dumpster full of mayonnaise-covered rats and realizing I'm gay.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
HA-roscopes
These are the horoscopes that express what everyone says about people born under your Zodiac sign, but only I have the balls to say it. So swallow this!
PISCES (FEB.19-MAR.20): A Pisces is a pretentious know-it-all (complete opposite of Cancer). "Pisces" is Latin for fishes? You don't say. Next thing you know, there will be a movie opening Friday called Zodiac with a sober Robert Downey Jr.
ARIES (MAR.21-APR.19): You're good at business, or something. Street business that is; by 32, you'll end up a small-time hoodrat selling bootleg DVDs at Kennedy Fried Chicken. In fairness, I've never seen Dunston Checks In...
TAURUS (APR.20-MAY20): First of all you're white so stop acting black. Second of all, it's just not cool for you to say the "n" word. Even if you put the word "sand" in front of it. This doesn't mean you can be a Japanese wannabe either. Wait, how long did it take you to draw that manga of me writing this?
GEMINI (MAY21-JUNE20): OK, you are many things: smart, attractive, affluent. But you are not funny. Neither are the film comedies that come out around your birthday. I'm telling you this so you relax. You don't have to tell that corny joke about how Gemini means "twins" and you're the evil one.
CANCER (JUNE21-JULY22): You're a dumb anti-Semite who has trouble following "The Office." Why does it have a single camera? Why do you have a single brain cell?
LEO (JULY23-AUG22): We get it: you know all the celebrities. The child actor who played the lead in Dunston Checks In, the Palestinian in Godard's Weekend, the buxom vixen who played Jabba the Slut in Star Whores. No I don't have a problem with you littering the Beverly Hills Spago with your screenplay about roller skating Chicano gang members who read Flaubert in summer school.
VIRGO (AUG23-SEPT22): I have bad news...well good news for us...you're infertile. Not even that blond bitch from "Lost" can save your sorry ass. Hey, bright side is you can have sex without weari- er...yeah, actually no one is surprised to know you're a virgin. I don't know what gives it away, but comparing lovemaking to making a meat lover's pizza doesn't help.
LIBRA (SEPT23-OCT22): Enough about Jesus already. That's all.
SCORPIO (OCT23-NOV21): You're nice to people, pleasant, warm, funny, and that infectious laugh-ooh, I could just eat you. Too bad those declassified documents came out and we know about your Special Ops scandal back in 1995. How could you set fire to that Bosnian deli? Monster!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV22-DEC21): Sags are not known for their artistic ability. So stop making that ASCII drawing of the number 1. Seriously, Sagittarians have no artistic ability. Not even an anti-art ability. You would even fuck up a found art project. That urinal you picked up last Saturday; it's been done before. And those soup cans, nevermind.
CAPRICORN (DEC22-JAN19): You're getting a Christmas gift and that's it. Fucking brat.
AQUARIUS (JAN.20-FEB.18): Aquarians are intelligent, beautiful, sexy, deep thinkers who are creative, funny, warm, compassionate leaders? Not convinced: get ready to bite the big one.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
PISCES (FEB.19-MAR.20): A Pisces is a pretentious know-it-all (complete opposite of Cancer). "Pisces" is Latin for fishes? You don't say. Next thing you know, there will be a movie opening Friday called Zodiac with a sober Robert Downey Jr.
ARIES (MAR.21-APR.19): You're good at business, or something. Street business that is; by 32, you'll end up a small-time hoodrat selling bootleg DVDs at Kennedy Fried Chicken. In fairness, I've never seen Dunston Checks In...
TAURUS (APR.20-MAY20): First of all you're white so stop acting black. Second of all, it's just not cool for you to say the "n" word. Even if you put the word "sand" in front of it. This doesn't mean you can be a Japanese wannabe either. Wait, how long did it take you to draw that manga of me writing this?
GEMINI (MAY21-JUNE20): OK, you are many things: smart, attractive, affluent. But you are not funny. Neither are the film comedies that come out around your birthday. I'm telling you this so you relax. You don't have to tell that corny joke about how Gemini means "twins" and you're the evil one.
CANCER (JUNE21-JULY22): You're a dumb anti-Semite who has trouble following "The Office." Why does it have a single camera? Why do you have a single brain cell?
LEO (JULY23-AUG22): We get it: you know all the celebrities. The child actor who played the lead in Dunston Checks In, the Palestinian in Godard's Weekend, the buxom vixen who played Jabba the Slut in Star Whores. No I don't have a problem with you littering the Beverly Hills Spago with your screenplay about roller skating Chicano gang members who read Flaubert in summer school.
VIRGO (AUG23-SEPT22): I have bad news...well good news for us...you're infertile. Not even that blond bitch from "Lost" can save your sorry ass. Hey, bright side is you can have sex without weari- er...yeah, actually no one is surprised to know you're a virgin. I don't know what gives it away, but comparing lovemaking to making a meat lover's pizza doesn't help.
LIBRA (SEPT23-OCT22): Enough about Jesus already. That's all.
SCORPIO (OCT23-NOV21): You're nice to people, pleasant, warm, funny, and that infectious laugh-ooh, I could just eat you. Too bad those declassified documents came out and we know about your Special Ops scandal back in 1995. How could you set fire to that Bosnian deli? Monster!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV22-DEC21): Sags are not known for their artistic ability. So stop making that ASCII drawing of the number 1. Seriously, Sagittarians have no artistic ability. Not even an anti-art ability. You would even fuck up a found art project. That urinal you picked up last Saturday; it's been done before. And those soup cans, nevermind.
CAPRICORN (DEC22-JAN19): You're getting a Christmas gift and that's it. Fucking brat.
AQUARIUS (JAN.20-FEB.18): Aquarians are intelligent, beautiful, sexy, deep thinkers who are creative, funny, warm, compassionate leaders? Not convinced: get ready to bite the big one.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
Monday, February 19, 2007
On a Personal Note: My Creepiest Karaoke Performance Ever
In this segment I tell humorous personal anecdotes not related to alternative comedy celebrities. If you hate personal blog posts, skip this; there's plenty of non-personal stuff on this blog as well.
I'm an atheist but after doing karaoke Saturday night at the Village Ma I learned to always heed that timeless maxim from the Bible:
Judge not lest ye be judged.
This tall blond guy in a black Oxford shirt named Eddie got on the karaoke stage and sang "You Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" to a random girl, Top Gun-style. All I could think was "What a creep."
It was my turn to get up. After drinking seven Stellas, I was ready to save karaoke night with a blistering rendition of "Born to be Wild." Only thing was, the place was dimly lit so I read 67-03 as 87-03 and put the latter on my karaoke ticket. So my "choice" when I got onstage was "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." At first I started singing it. After an understandably lackluster response, I explained to the audience that I accidentally picked the song. They started laughing, so I tried to toss out some funny ad libs during the song. One of them was a "clever" pun:
Santa Claus is coming to town. You know what I'm talking about right guys?
I proceeded to sit on the stool and pretend do finger my fictional vagina. Most people do air guitar at karaoke; I was doing air beaver baiting. I thought I did a great job but my girlfriend told me I was cut off from alcohol because I was acting weird. Instead of acknowledging her sagely counsel, I yelled at her for calling me a creep. I mean what's so creepy about an overweight Egyptian man from Long Island pretending to be Santa Claus in February while simulating female masturbation?
And here I was calling Top Gun Eddie a creep. He was coming on to a girl; I was pretending to come like a girl. So it bears repeating: judge not lest ye be judged. Oh and if your lover says you should stop drinking because you're acting weird, shut up and listen.
I'm an atheist but after doing karaoke Saturday night at the Village Ma I learned to always heed that timeless maxim from the Bible:
Judge not lest ye be judged.
This tall blond guy in a black Oxford shirt named Eddie got on the karaoke stage and sang "You Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" to a random girl, Top Gun-style. All I could think was "What a creep."
It was my turn to get up. After drinking seven Stellas, I was ready to save karaoke night with a blistering rendition of "Born to be Wild." Only thing was, the place was dimly lit so I read 67-03 as 87-03 and put the latter on my karaoke ticket. So my "choice" when I got onstage was "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." At first I started singing it. After an understandably lackluster response, I explained to the audience that I accidentally picked the song. They started laughing, so I tried to toss out some funny ad libs during the song. One of them was a "clever" pun:
Santa Claus is coming to town. You know what I'm talking about right guys?
I proceeded to sit on the stool and pretend do finger my fictional vagina. Most people do air guitar at karaoke; I was doing air beaver baiting. I thought I did a great job but my girlfriend told me I was cut off from alcohol because I was acting weird. Instead of acknowledging her sagely counsel, I yelled at her for calling me a creep. I mean what's so creepy about an overweight Egyptian man from Long Island pretending to be Santa Claus in February while simulating female masturbation?
And here I was calling Top Gun Eddie a creep. He was coming on to a girl; I was pretending to come like a girl. So it bears repeating: judge not lest ye be judged. Oh and if your lover says you should stop drinking because you're acting weird, shut up and listen.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Depression: A Disease to be Eliminated or a Better Way to Get Attention Than Being Funny?
Why do we love that Cymbalta song so much?
Simply put, we do not want to get rid of depression. According to an article in the LA Times, depression is an evolutionary trait, not something to get rid of. (via Digg)
Thomson based his approach on the idea that depression is not simply a disease to be eliminated, but a way of eliciting support from family and friends.
So sleeping a lot and acting despondent seems to be an easier method for getting attention than telling jokes. Jokes require a set-up and a punchline. A suicide note or a sad poem doesn't. Indeed, your efforts would be futile and creepy if you took the time to use a set-up/punchline structure.
More women threaten suicide but more men actually do it. I commit suicide like a girl.
Here's my impression of William Howard Taft (lay dead).
(on top of the Golden Gate bridge) Wanna see my new dance for that Kriss Kross song "Jump, Jump?"
Simply put, we do not want to get rid of depression. According to an article in the LA Times, depression is an evolutionary trait, not something to get rid of. (via Digg)
Thomson based his approach on the idea that depression is not simply a disease to be eliminated, but a way of eliciting support from family and friends.
So sleeping a lot and acting despondent seems to be an easier method for getting attention than telling jokes. Jokes require a set-up and a punchline. A suicide note or a sad poem doesn't. Indeed, your efforts would be futile and creepy if you took the time to use a set-up/punchline structure.
More women threaten suicide but more men actually do it. I commit suicide like a girl.
Here's my impression of William Howard Taft (lay dead).
(on top of the Golden Gate bridge) Wanna see my new dance for that Kriss Kross song "Jump, Jump?"
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