This Is Sad

When you type in "worst comedians" Google suggests "worst comedians Dane Cook" as an autocomplete. I guess college crowds can be SuFickle.

Upcoming Gigs

Yes I do stand-up. Come watch me tell jokes at any one of these fine venues.

Inconvenient Truth: Al Gore's Kinda Funny

At least that's what this Un-Cabaret blog post seems to imply:

Once Al Gore stopped pretending to be a 'serious' politician and started making fun of himself, he suddenly became a lot more likeable and trustworthy - even when he was delivering an inconvenient truth.


Scoff all you want, Al Gore's daughter wrote for Futurama. This may explain Obama's appeal too, making self-deprecating jokes about being from Krypton.

Wasn't Bush self-deprecating? Yeah - WAY after the fact. When he made his flubs, he never addressed them immediately. He just said them with such a serious face one couldn't help but laugh at him.

So politicians; be more Jon Stewart, less Stephen Colbert.

Remembrance Of Video Past #65: Duran Duran, "All She Wants Is"

When I was 13, nothing was funnier than an orgasm in a pop song. Twenty years later, you would think I would stop howling with laughter at the ecstatic moans toward the end of this song. Trouble is, these moans are sequenced with synthesizers, making it sound like a sex piano (or sex keytar).

What's makes it even funnier is as these moans creep up on the soundtrack, the female protagonist faints in front of an open fridge. You're welcome.

NSFW

Patton Oswalt Vid EVERY BUDDING COMIC MUST WATCH

Taken from Beth Lapides' page (more on her significance here) is this annotated video of Patton Oswalt at Un-Cabaret. The annotations dissect how, when asked questions about his anecdote, Oswalt's responses are not only funny but truthful and within his character. It's not so much that he's on. It's more like he's really present onstage.


In this sense comedy is like reporting: Patton Oswalt is giving the story while Lapides (the hostess who asks questions to elicit further information) is like the editor, demanding even a seasoned vet like Oswalt to give more detail and to answer any lingering questions.

A Perfect YouTube Moment

I got the following comment on this video (NSFW):






This is the only comment by someone other than me. It's a very flattering, supportive comment. I am enjoying this unspoiled moment before I start receiving negative "faggot" comments. Or, even worse, before I realize that I will never get another comment on my videos ever again.

(Thanks Abbi for the heads-up and the video!)

Best Viral Video Of The Year (About MJ Media Hypocrisy)

I've seen Jon Lajoie's work and I've always thought it was OK but nothing could prepare me for this scathing rebuke of the hypocritical media's reaction to Michael Jackson's death. Before Jackson's death he was demonized as a child-touching pariah. Now he's been crowned the King of Pop by everybody carbon-based life form. Which is it? Lajoie seems to lean towards the "kid-diddling sicko" view, but he keeps his unwavering focus on the media circus that interviewed vapid talking head after vapid talking head.

There have been plenty of hilarious viral vids this year but this is one of the precious few that challenges the status quo. Indeed I can't think of another viral video produced exclusively for the web that does.

NSFH (Not Safe For Hypocrites)

(via)

Upcoming Stand-Up Comedy Gigs For Mo Diggs

The Hangover Wins Over Angry Meatheads

First of all, this is the most perfect film ever realized. It is at least the best comedy I've seen in a very long time. I don't think a better comedy will come out this year but I hope I'm wrong.

It was especially awesome considering the conditions. I saw it in a sold-out theater full of angry douchey bros who were waiting 15 minutes past the scheduled time for the movie to start.

This movie better have roofies!


A theater employee announced that the movie would start in five minutes. As we were watching the trailers, the projector went out and everyone booed. They started the movie a few minutes past the very beginning which pissed everybody off. Some audience members were booing the projectionist. One guy behind me said "This movie is doomed."

At the end of the film, there was rapturous applause. Hangover with the win!

Is There Such A Thing As A Bad Audience At A Comedy Show?

Absolutely. Some audiences are dumb and want Chinese jokes. I'll take it one step further - sometimes the HOST is terrible. Sometimes the Feng Shui is out of whack. Sometimes the comic before you killed by making fun of convenience store clerks from Southeast Asia.

This only means it is our job as comics to rectify the situation. More often than not this entails being "loose" which means either:

a) crowdwork
b) articulating your stream-of-consciousness as it happens
c) commenting on a joke from the previous comedian/host

What this does is it gives the audience and comedian common ground without the comedian selling out. The best way I can describe it is to be your own host because if the host did their job right the crowd would be pumped. So YOU have to get them psyched (Rob Lathan steez).

Speaking of getting psyched COME TO MY SHOW TOMORROW AT OCHI'S.

Here are the details:

Mo Diggs presents Claudia Cogan (featured in Time Out New York), Jamie Lee (one of the winners of NYUCF Emerging Comics Contest), Nick Turner (DC Comedy Festival), David Angelo (David Angelo Radio Show), Todd Montesi (Howard Stern) and Matt Nagin (New York Post). Musical guest Joe Yoga.

Date: Wednesday, May 27th
Time: 7:30pm - 9:00pm
Location: Ochi's Lounge (basement of Comix; 353 W. 14th St)
NO COVER/One Item Minimum

I Was Interviewed In Stand-Up Comedy 101

Comedian/open-mike expert Bad Slava interviewed me for his blog. Here's an excerpt:

Why did you start doing stand-up comedy?

I was sleeping with hookers and strippers, thinking, "What job can I have where this lifestyle is common to the point of cliche?"

Remembrance Of Video Past #64: Richard Marx, "Hazard"

We've all heard lite rock before but how about lite rock with A MURDER MYSTERY?! I saw ads for this song in 1992 asking the cryptic question "Who killed Mary?" I first heard this song in my parent's rental car in Florida. It has an ominous sound, like a bad police procedural with spooky synth noises.

Richard Marx plays this guy accused of murder but he maintains is innocence. In the beginning he is shown being teased as a child. Later he finds out his mom is an adulterer and burns a random person's house as a little kid. He eventually dates Mary, who is found dead in the river. It is up to the listener to decide if Marx's character killed Mary or not.

I'd like to think he did it because an easy listening song by a murderer is funnier than a power ballad sung by a cold blooded killer.

If You're In New York And You Want To See Me...

I usually don't promote upcoming shows on this blog but I am REALLY excited about these next two shows.

TONIGHT: I am doing Monday Night Stand-Up at Pete's Candy Store. The show is hosted and produced by the lovely and high-larious (especially on 4/20)Jennifer Dzuria. Also featuring:

Tim Ellis has a one-man show called, "An Inquiry Into Human Understanding." I went to go see it to make sure it didn't have too much in common with my own philosophy-oriented one-woman show. Fortunately, Tim had never donated his eggs to a gay man.

Cody Hess is from Texas. According to his MySpace page, his heroes include his parents, and "cowboys."

Jeff Kreisler is a winner of the Bill Hicks Spirit Award for Thought Provoking Comedy and was a writer for Comedy Central's Indecision2008.

Becky Yamamoto has a really awesome-looking website.



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Don't forget Intermission-the show I produce with Matt Nagin-this Wednesday (4/22) 7:30-9 at Ochi's Lounge in the basement of Comix (14th and 9th). I am hosting and man do we have a line-up that will leave laugh scars-let alone laugh lines-on your face.

HILLARY SCHWARTZ (MTV)
IAN JENSEN (Botanica, Joe Franklin's)
GABE PACHECO (Haiku Show)
MIKE KRAMER (featured Daily News, NYC Underground Fest., Dutch TV)
MATT NAGIN (featured NY Post, host Intermission)
EL BOB (clubs, colleges)
TODD MONTESSI (Ug!)
CHESLEY CALLOWAY (Kabin Show)
Musical guest Michelle Leona!

NO COVER! 1 ITEM MINIMUM!

The Absolutes Of Mo

One of the most difficult things in any artistic endeavor is finding your voice: what makes you you? I came up with a list of absolutes-of things that are immutable, that have been true practically all my life-as an exercise to see what makes Mo Diggs Mo than just Diggs.


- I hate mayonnaise: Since I was eight years old, I have been repulsed by the idea of mayonnaise. How much? If my girlfriend started to eat mayonnaise I would break up with her. If you covered all my cash with mayonnaise I would throw it in the vicinity of a homeless person. If you told me my brain had mayonnaise in it, I would learn how to give myself a lobotomy on YouTube.

- I love Queen and Led Zeppelin Folks, I've been through many musical phases: metal; indie rock; electroclash; intelligent dance music; conscious backpacker hip-hop; soundtrack music. Through it all I've never changed the station/pressed "next" on the iPod when a Queen or Led Zeppelin song comes on. This doesn't exactly make me look cool: both bands were the alpha and omega of overproduced hi-fi stadium rock.

Fuck electroclash


- I will always love the feeling of getting out of work This does not mean I do not like work. The downside of unemployment is that the whole day becomes relatively uneventful. At 5 pm on a workday I get out of work. Joy! At 5 pm on a weekend I check my e-mail for the billionth time.

What are YOUR absolutes?

MySpace: Most Ghetto Website Eva

If the Internet is like a highway of information, then the MySpace exit is one huge web ghetto.

- Every other girl is a cyber ho propositioning you for her cyber services.

- No matter where you look you see a shirtless thug.

- Shitty music is blasting out of shitty speakers.

- Everything is all dilapidated with ghastly MySpace graffiti.


There's even Tom, the cranky MySpace landlord. "OK we know there are problems-STOP WITH THE EMAILS! You get what you pay for!"


What's the crack of MySpace? MySpace. No matter how hard I try, I can't get out of the ghetto.

Joke Junkie #3:

Today's headlines, tomorrow's jokes

Industry experts say digital 3D is the future of cinema. Which means viewers may be literally blinded by Dr. Manhattan's giblets.

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A prison officer was fired after befriending inmates on Facebook. No word on whether he will face charges for poking the inmates.

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A scientific study shows that semen makes women happier. In other news, Monica Lewinsky says her blue dress brings back happy memories.

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STREET JOKE OF THE DAY: An ad man walks into a bar. He rolled his eyes at the patrons and told his friend "This place sold out. It's way too commercial."
Call the bowler's union and tell them there's a STRIKE!

Today's Topic: Topical Jokes

Here's Louis CK's take on topical jokes (Boston Comedy via Sandpaper Suit):

"I just don't do that. It has a shelf life, and… I don't care about current events. They're hit so hard by comedians. That whole thing of, 'Hey, what the hell…' you know, 'And the eight babies lady…' You know, Jesus. And fucking enough. It's the most boring part of our national conversation, is the five headlines. You can't tell the news from Entertainment Tonight anymore. It's just a bummer. And I think it's one of the most boring aspects of stand-up, and it's just me being really harsh, is just the feeding on that shit. And taking the, 'Here's my take on it.' Oh, okay, that's about three degrees different from what Conan said, and Leno said, and Letterman said, and Jon Stewart, and Dennis Miller, and Spike Feresten, and Jimmy Kimmel, and Jimmy Fallon. And the columnist, and the Onion. And a bunch of bloggers...Your take on the Octomom, you somehow found a little territory in there that was just yours. And I really wish you had thought about something about yourself instead."

Now here's MY TAKE:

I don't know if you've noticed but the past few days I've been writing topical jokes. Why on earth would I do this? Two reasons:

a) As a joke-writing exercise
b) It's amazing practice for television writing

The truth is, there is ZERO money in alternative comedy. You either make money as an actor or a writer. I don't have a Johnny Hollywood Good Time Charlie face, so I may as well hone my writing chops.

That said, I would stay away from telling topical jokes onstage. Stand-up, more than any other form of comedy, is about honing and sharpening the same material. Granted, I don't feel you need to tell the same five jokes at EVERY show (I just realized this recently, so apologies to my fellow comedy colleagues) but it really is hard to let go of jokes that have the shelf life of one loopy afternoon at work.

RECAP:

Topical jokes: great for blogs/Twitter, but a waste of time onstage.

Joke Junkie #2

Today's headlines, tomorrow's jokes
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Today is St Patrick's Day, a magical day in which all the streets are sprinkled with golden showers.
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A German company courts controversy with Obama Fingers, which are fried chicken tenders. The company halted production of Sanjay Gupta Dots.
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The latest Details issue has Yankee Alex Rodriguez kissing his mirror image. He was reportedly frustrated that he only got to first base.
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A man on the lam posed as his dead brother for 20 years. Police became suspicious when the man told police "I am my dead brother. BAH!"
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iPhone now has copy and paste function. No word yet on whether iPhone will have "save money and stop buying trendy gadgets" function.
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STREET JOKE OF THE DAY: A 9/11 conspiracy theorist walks into a bar. He says "Let me get a hot toddy-make sure it's Farenheit 9/11."
Tell the short-order cook at Denny's that's a grand slam!

Joke Junkie #1

Here are today's jokes from today's headlines:

Guantanamo inmates no longer "enemy combatants." They are now being called "livestock."

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MacGyver is being made into a movie. In the spirit of MacGyver, the filmmakers plan on using rudimentary materials to make a certified bomb.

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iPhone is the big hit at SXSW. Like most of the concertgoers, the iPhone was both sleek and unwashed

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HBO greenlit a series about history of film by David Chase, maker of The Sopranos. When asked who will star in it, David Chase abruptly turned into a black screen.

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Josef Fritzl, accused of imprisoning his daughter and fathering her children, has pleaded guilty to rape and incest but not guilty to murder. "I'm not a monster," Fritzl added.
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STREET JOKE OF THE DAY:

A 9/11 conspiracy theorist walks into a bar. He orders a rum and coke. The bartender says, "It comes out to 12 dollars." The conspiracy theorist said, "Sorry, I only have loose change."

CHERRY, CHERRY, CHERRY, JACKPOT!

LCS, Gotham Non-Renewals=No One Cares About Stand-Up

According to The Comic's Comic (please donate), Last Comic Standing and Live At Gotham appear to be headed toward the out door.

Startling coincidence: last night, Chris Laker said that before he was a comic, no one would talk to him about Premium Blend because only comics watch that show. So is stand-up comedy really becoming incestuous? A vanity press for the most fragile egos?

If so, then I embrace this trend in cancellations. As Jeff Kreisler rightfully said in the comments for the blog post, "This could be good thing. Maybe without the TV outlets for 'younger'/'greener' comics, these comics can focus less on developing a TV set, and more on developing themselves."

The short of it: we may have avoided a COMEDY BUST!

Comedy Bust