Friday, July 21, 2006

Blogging for Peace in the Middle East

Lebanese and Israeli bloggers are communicating via blogs. From the Wired article:

Recent government crackdowns on blogging in India and China highlight the destabilizing power of the medium; even in the United States, blogging has become nearly synonymous with partisanship and attack politics. Many Beirut bloggers, by contrast, point to the power of blogs as a tool for communication and even reconciliation.

Man, imagine a counterculture for peace spawned from the web. In the Middle East?

It ain't just happening on the blogosphere either. The series of tubes has something to say as well:

So what's my contribution for the online peace movement? One of dem dar super-hip ultra-chic jokes without punchlines of course:

I've come to the conclusion that I won't change the world with my stand-up. My routine will not bring peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians. I know I'm gonna sound conceited, but in case I do bring peace to the Israelis and the Palestinians, THAT WOULD BE GREAT IF IT DOES BY THE WAY -- if I do bring peace to them and I am assassinated by some right-wing zealot, THIS PART WILL SOUND REALLY CONCEITED I fear that some people might try to make a religion with me as the central figure for bringing peace to Jerusalem, the holiest place on earth . So, I'm just giving out the memo: I am not the Messiah. When a right-wing zealot shoots me, scream "He's not the Messiah." In fact, shoot the people who would try to make me the Messiah in the first place because we don't need any more religions in the world. So, yeah, oh by the way, yeah I wanted to tell you this -- by the way, only scream that I am not the Messiah if I am assasinated. If I am choking on a mozarella ball, don't scream I am not the messiah.

A person cannot be the Messiah until that person is killed. You can't kill a person by making them choke to death on a mozzarella ball. It doesn't usually work. It's usually followed by an awkward offer of dessert.

Killing somebody by making them choke on a mozzarella ball would be a very motherly way of killing somebody. Or paternal. Fathers cook too.

If I do get assassinated, they might think also think I am the antichrist. Scream I am not the antichrist.

Although Johnny Rotten said he was the Antichrist and it sounded cool ... how about when I am assassinated, you immediately scream "He's not the antichrist and neither is Johnny Rotten!"

But you can only be confused for the Messiah or the antichrist -- heck, you can only be assassinated -- if you are John Lennon famous. I'm afraid there are some people here who want that level of immortality. That's what I had wanted at one point. But there's too much stress with that. I want to be Benjamin Bratt famous.

Benjamin Bratt is from Law & Order, the dashing mestizo detective. He's also on E-Ring. He's NBC's go-to guy.

So anyway, he told this story on Conan one time and he said he said that he went to give a surprise massage to a fan on Oprah. He knocked on the lady's door and said, 'Hi, I'm Benjamin, I'm meant to give you a massage today.'"She had no idea who he was. Her aunt said her niece is a Banjamin Bratt fan just to get a ticket to the show.

So obviously if you are Benjamin Bratt famous, you might not be important enough to bring peace to the Middle East, but no one will ever confuse you for the Messiah, no one will assassinate you, and women will think you're hot.

But I read Benjamin Bratt's celebrity horoscope online, and I do not match his characteristics, which I need for Benjamin Bratt-level recognition, presumably. I do not "maintain dignity or keep my emotional life in check," as his horoscope says he does. So I probably won't be Benjamin Bratt famous and I probably won't get assassinated.

1 comment:

Cibbuano said...

benjamin bratt could deflect smart bombs with a puff of his cigarette.