Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Eddie Murphy Returns To Only Thing He Was Good At

No more fat suits. After twenty some odd years, Murphy plans on returning onstage. This is great news. If only other major figures went back to doing things they were better at:

President George Bush announced today that he was going to return to managing the Houston Astros after his term was up. Bush also said that he would stop at nothing to get Sammy Sosa on the team. "I don't care if young fresh-faced Astros lose their lives, I'm gettin' SosQuatch," Bush said at a press conference at the Astrodome earlier today.

"I will say 'Mission Accomplished,' tricking Ferrari TestaSosa into thinking that he is on the Astros. There could be a hurricane in the southern region-unless it's a SosaStorm, I don't give a wet fart. I will wiretap every clubhouse in the US and Japan until I get my hands on SosaFrass."

"Mind you, I won't look for him in Cuba," Bush continued. "I will go to Baltimore, raise hell there and get Pete Rose, even though I want Spaghetti Sosa. I will even give a long-winded, overwritten speech in a one-dimensional blog post decrying my admittedly questionable policies."

"Worse comes to worse, pappy can buy me Sosa Nostra," Bush concluded, to scattered applause.


Abbi said...

Jobs other celebrity addicts should have had based on natural life paths:

Britney Spears as floor supervisor of Bed Bath and Beyond.

Whitney Houston as assistant minister of an evangelical Megachurch.

Pete Doherty as a busboy at various chains of the British equivalent of Applebee's (which I believe is called Applebee's).

Amy Winehouse as a museum curator.

Lindsay Lohan as a receptionist at Century 21.

Aalap said...

good news to hear but I have to quibble with the title of this post.

Eddie Murphy was great in Coming to America and Trading Places, two of my favorite comedies of all time.

If he went back to making movies like that I'd consider that a gift.

Water Lion said...

Bạn đang đi tìm một nơi order hàng Nhật Bản. Bạn muốn tìm nơi ship hàng từ Nhật? Nếu bạn vẫn chưa tìm ra nơi đó thì hãy đến với chúng tôi giaonhan247. Chúng tôi hiện nay là công ty chuyên cung cấp các dịch vụ vận chuyển hàng ở nước ngoài về Việt Nam và ngược lại. Tiêu biểu có thể kể đến như dịch vụ gửi hàng đi nhật giá rẻ, dịch vụ chuyển hàng đi Mỹ, Nhận order hàng từ mỹ... Và còn rất nhiều dịch vụ khác như mua hàng trên amazon, Nhận order hàng từ Đức để phục vụ bạn. Muốn mua hàng ở nước ngoài, chỉ cần đến với chúng tôi bạn sẽ không cần phải lo nghĩ nhiều nữa.

Vương Nguyễn said...

Mua hàng trên amazon
Mua hàng trên amazon nhật bản
mua hàng trên amazon có đảm bảo không
Ship hàng amazon về việt nam
chuyển nhà trọn gói phan nguyễn express
dịch vụ chuyển nhà trọn gói hồ chí minh
chuyển văn phòng trọn gói hồ chí minh