Stand-Up Comedy = Conversation Porn

Stand-Up : Conversation

Porn : Sex

The more I do stand-up comedy, the more I realize that, though a conversational tone is acceptable, many of the facets we take for granted in everyday conversation aren't. This includes things like false starts ("The thing is...where is Chelsea Market"), fillers ("um," "like," "you know") and mumbling. To be sure there are exceptions but developing comics like myself need to develop interesting, funny monologues without any of the tics that make offstage conversations drag.

This is akin to porno. In a blue movie, the action typically begins with an emotionless transaction scene (pizza boy, guy with money stopping girl on street) that leads to...well, you've been on the Internet before, right? But like a jazz song, a porno is defined by what it doesn't do: it doesn't include the breakfast after bed, the incessant phone calls, the awkward second date, the unplanned pregnancy, the shotgun wedding, the first divorce, the relapse, the second divorce, the murder, etc.