Carlos Mencia, for those of you who don't know, is a mean-spirited, soulless joke-stealing hack that brings a bad name to club comedy. Here's a taste.
So what does this screamer listen to? According to his MySpace blog, he's a Shins fan. I didn't know that. Huh. What a clash of sensibilities: hateful, bilious ranting and pretty, jangly pop songs. Perhaps he'll steal their material too (Martin Crandall is pretty funny).
Showing posts with label MySpace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MySpace. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
MySpace: The Parallel Universe of the Entertainment Blogosphere
MySpace art and entertainment blogs amuse me. First of all, MySpace calls a blog post a "blog." Riiiight. Secondly, the design is the diametrical opposite of TypePad. TypePad is for those who know Perl, CSS and all that. MySpace has bimbo and jock blogs. I will demonstrate the difference between how other blogs tackle culture and how MySpace blogs do it.
MUSIC
Usually a widely-read music blog is written by some smarmy hipster vagina quilt (I have the exceptions in my link list) who drones on about the latest buzz band, mocks said band in the following post and uploads a free mp3 from that band only to take it down a week later.
To get ahead in the MySpace music blog biz you need to give readers a CHANCE TO WIN A NEW ALBUM FROM SOUTHERN METAL BAND SALIVA!!!!!
ART AND PHOTOGRAPHY
Most art and photography blogs have these long-winded essays about networked performance, biotech and the "gamespace."
As of this writing the top art and photography blog on MySpace has photos of a Tennessee metal band's road equipment.
It ain't art until it's cranked up to 11!
CELEBRITIES
Your average celebrity blog has a snarky tone and breaking gossip about where Britney Spears shops and drops.
A MySpace celebrity blog has a white guy dressed as a "terrorist" (with a "chick" who has the "detonator"[smart move by the way]) asking who your favorite cartoon character is. Now that's a question the entertainment reporters are too squeamish to ask.
Are you accusing me of being a terrorist, a racist, or an asshole?
Oh and for that anonymous troll who's gonna write "this blog is not funny; MySpace blogs are funny," keep telling yourself that. No really, Erika wants you to check out her website because she thinks you're cute.
MUSIC
Usually a widely-read music blog is written by some smarmy hipster vagina quilt (I have the exceptions in my link list) who drones on about the latest buzz band, mocks said band in the following post and uploads a free mp3 from that band only to take it down a week later.
To get ahead in the MySpace music blog biz you need to give readers a CHANCE TO WIN A NEW ALBUM FROM SOUTHERN METAL BAND SALIVA!!!!!
Most art and photography blogs have these long-winded essays about networked performance, biotech and the "gamespace."
As of this writing the top art and photography blog on MySpace has photos of a Tennessee metal band's road equipment.
Your average celebrity blog has a snarky tone and breaking gossip about where Britney Spears shops and drops.
A MySpace celebrity blog has a white guy dressed as a "terrorist" (with a "chick" who has the "detonator"[smart move by the way]) asking who your favorite cartoon character is. Now that's a question the entertainment reporters are too squeamish to ask.
Oh and for that anonymous troll who's gonna write "this blog is not funny; MySpace blogs are funny," keep telling yourself that. No really, Erika wants you to check out her website because she thinks you're cute.
Friday, January 19, 2007
The 12 Funniest People on the Internet
Valleywag has a list of the 12 funniest people on the Internet. One of the people on the list is Bob Powers, author of the second most popular blog written by a comedian, Girls are Pretty. I've met him and I must say he's one of the nicest popular people out there.
For shits, giggles and suds, I'm gonna compare them to the top ten comedians on MySpace, the portal for dummies who don't know the Web. I also think oranges are juicier than apples. What?
Andy Samberg vs. Dane Cook [note: he's not on the list but he has a million friends so obviously he's number one]: From any angle (comedy nerd, nerd comedy, popularity) I think it's reaaaaally obvious that Samberg's the winner here. Employee of the Month tanked while "Dick in a Box" is still on everyone's lips...as a word-of-mouth phenomenon. Plus Dane Cook's recent MySpace hissy fit makes Samberg the ruler of mainstream Internet comedy.
He made a video called "Dick in a Box," I'm making one called "Dildo in a Box." How is that not different, bro?
Violent Acres vs. Carlos Mencia: Slight edge to the Violent Acres blog. Carlos Mencia is everything comedy shouldn't be: hackneyed, mean-spirited, counterfeit. Here's a sample of his Internet comedy.
Did you know you can smash a microphone against your forehead?
Skot vs. Katt Williams: Congrats to Skot but I gotta go with Katt Williams. I just agree with his philisophy "Enjoy your life." Most comics (myself included) like to bitch. Refreshing attitude.
You gangbangin' on bacon?
Ze Frank vs. Brock Baker: Ze Frank. Any questions? Class dismissed.
Brad Neely vs. Nick Swardson: Nick Swardson is what Dane Cook should be: smart dude/bro comedy.
What if that's your thing?
Iggy Pop's Roadie vs. The Tenderloins: Outsider humor (like outsider art, humor that is done by amateurs) is the slithery, ferocious predator of all that is contrived and prepared. Big win for roadies: getting laughs and blowjobs since 1955.
David Malki vs. Jim Gaffigan: Gotta go with the Gaff. You heard me.
Here's electricity
Matthew Baldwin vs. Owen Benjamin:
After seeing this video Owen Benjamin's my hero.
It is sad.
Gabriel Delahaye vs. Pablo Francisco: Gabe by default. Pablo Francisco is the hackiest cornball in recorded history.
Daniel Radosh vs. VooDooWop: VooDooWop, whom I've never heard of until today.
Ryan North vs. Brian Posehn: Brian Posehn, lord of the nerds (Patton is king of the nerds).
Bob Powers vs. Barets and Bareta: Obviously I prefer Bob Powers but I gave Barets and Bareta a Belushi Award for Unfunniest Viral Video of '06.
BIG WINNER: Though the Valleywag list and the MySpace list each have six wins, a tie-breaker is impossible so I'll weigh the votes for the Valleywag list. None of the choices made me bristle like the douchebags on MySpace. Congrats Valleywag and all those who got annointed.
For shits, giggles and suds, I'm gonna compare them to the top ten comedians on MySpace, the portal for dummies who don't know the Web. I also think oranges are juicier than apples. What?
Andy Samberg vs. Dane Cook [note: he's not on the list but he has a million friends so obviously he's number one]: From any angle (comedy nerd, nerd comedy, popularity) I think it's reaaaaally obvious that Samberg's the winner here. Employee of the Month tanked while "Dick in a Box" is still on everyone's lips...as a word-of-mouth phenomenon. Plus Dane Cook's recent MySpace hissy fit makes Samberg the ruler of mainstream Internet comedy.
Violent Acres vs. Carlos Mencia: Slight edge to the Violent Acres blog. Carlos Mencia is everything comedy shouldn't be: hackneyed, mean-spirited, counterfeit. Here's a sample of his Internet comedy.
Skot vs. Katt Williams: Congrats to Skot but I gotta go with Katt Williams. I just agree with his philisophy "Enjoy your life." Most comics (myself included) like to bitch. Refreshing attitude.
Ze Frank vs. Brock Baker: Ze Frank. Any questions? Class dismissed.
Brad Neely vs. Nick Swardson: Nick Swardson is what Dane Cook should be: smart dude/bro comedy.
Iggy Pop's Roadie vs. The Tenderloins: Outsider humor (like outsider art, humor that is done by amateurs) is the slithery, ferocious predator of all that is contrived and prepared. Big win for roadies: getting laughs and blowjobs since 1955.
David Malki vs. Jim Gaffigan: Gotta go with the Gaff. You heard me.
Matthew Baldwin vs. Owen Benjamin:
After seeing this video Owen Benjamin's my hero.
Gabriel Delahaye vs. Pablo Francisco: Gabe by default. Pablo Francisco is the hackiest cornball in recorded history.
Daniel Radosh vs. VooDooWop: VooDooWop, whom I've never heard of until today.
Ryan North vs. Brian Posehn: Brian Posehn, lord of the nerds (Patton is king of the nerds).
Bob Powers vs. Barets and Bareta: Obviously I prefer Bob Powers but I gave Barets and Bareta a Belushi Award for Unfunniest Viral Video of '06.
BIG WINNER: Though the Valleywag list and the MySpace list each have six wins, a tie-breaker is impossible so I'll weigh the votes for the Valleywag list. None of the choices made me bristle like the douchebags on MySpace. Congrats Valleywag and all those who got annointed.
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