Monday, December 04, 2006

Soundtrack to Mo the Mo!vie

via TAN


So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: "Know Your Onion!," The Shins
Waking up: "It's a Hit," Rilo Kiley
First Day at School: "Ignition," Superwolf
Falling in Love: "One is the Loneliest Number," Three Dog Night
Fight Song: "Love and Happiness," Al Green
Breaking Up: "Bucky Little Wing," Islands
Prom: "AA XXX," Peaches
Life: "Caravan," Van Morrison
Mental Breakdown: "Suspicious Minds," Elvis Presley
Driving: "Forest Families," The Knife
Flashback: "Deceptacon (DFA remix)," Le Tigre
Wedding: "When the Night Comes," Joe Cocker
Birth of a Child: "Twisting the Night Away," Sam Cooke
Final Battle: "Who's Got the Crack," The Moldy Peaches
Death Scene: "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car," Billy Ocean
Funeral Scene: "Girl Inform Me," The Shins
End Credits: "Save Me," Aimee Mann

So this is the story of my life according to the soundtrack:

From the opening credits, we know I'm a nerd who's "allergic to love." My wake-up song continues the loser theme ("Any chimp can play human for a day"). First day at school everyone is making out. But when the girl I love walks past me in the halls, she rejects me at first ("No is the saddest experience you'll ever know"). It's not until I beat up her emo trash boyfriend (the horns toward the end of "Love and Happiness" would make for incredible Vegas style boxing music) that she loves me. A day later we break up. My girl and I go to the sexy hipster prom with separate dates. A very strange XXX theme. Post-prom there's a montage of all the characters having fun and listening to the radio, getting down "to what is really wrong." Away from my ex-girlfriend, I have a mental breakdown in Vegas while "Suspicious Minds" is playing. This leads to a rant during my stand-up routine: "He's a cheater. Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down from the top of a hotel." I drive off in anger from Vegas to NY with the throbbing synth pop of The Knife in the background. I see my girl and we flash back to the good ole Williamsburg days when DFA was relevant. We have a very ironic wedding song (Joe Cocker! Ha!) We are excited about our baby as we twist the night away. Speaking of twists, here's a twist: we smoke crack and have a "final battle" over it. She owns the crack and the baby in crack court. So I wander the streets as a tranny hooker and a trick pulls up blasting "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car." Turns out it's undercover cops who shoot me At my funeral, the song "Girl Inform Me," is cruelly ironic since I'm buried as a tranny. The undercover cop who shot me kisses my crackhead girlfriend in an ending that is a blatant rip off of PT Anderson's "Magnolia" which has a coke-addicted lady date a cop with the same exact song playing in the end credits.

1 comment:

sammyray said...

Entire life: "Dancin' With Myself" by Billy Idol. That, or "Turning Japanese."