Seems like different genres of music have their own comedians. Pitchfork recently interviewed Human Giant, confirming their indie rock cred. Metalheads love Brian Posehn. Country fans love Larry the Cably Guy. Rap heads love Def Comedy Jam.
But what about pop punk? No comedian represents the mall punks. There are none so I propose Extreme Skate Skitch Cooper. XSSC skates onstage and whines about how annoying his mom is.
"Dude my mom is so fucking stupid. Like when she tells me to take a shower. What is she a fucking perv? And man how stupid is she? I keep asking for a Fall Out Boy shirt from Hot Topic and I keep getting a new Family Guy shirt. Doesn't she know I'm a teenybopper? Nanny nanny boo boo!!"
Friday, March 30, 2007
Kill Yourself at Work in Five Minutes
Digg has been buzzing about this video game on the Adult Swim site where you must kill yourself within five minutes. Thanks Adult Swim but I already know it's not easy to kill yourself.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Remembrance of Videos Past #40: Hayden, "Bad as it Seems"
Hayden is like Beck without the humor. Lemme give that some positive spin: this song preceded Sea Change by a good seven years. In '96 all Beck songs had bleeps blips and chocolate chips. This song was just a summer bummer. I know this video doesn't go as far back as most RVPs, but consider that this video had decent rotation on MTV whereas nowadays emo and neogrunge get the spotlight. Yes, we've gotten to a point in which a Beck wannabe with a harmonica and shitty rhymes makes us sigh and say those were the days.
Modest Mouse at #1; Daughtry at #4
On Billboard Modest Mouse is #1. The last time an indie pop act topped the 200 was in 300 AD, when Barney Rubble released his atmospheric solo album My Name is Barney Rubble and I'm Here to Say....
Daughtry got mud kicked in his face by former American Idol man Elliot Yamin, who made number 3. Sounds like a new form of excrement, number 3. No wonder no one is happy with third place. I gotta go make #3.
Daughtry got mud kicked in his face by former American Idol man Elliot Yamin, who made number 3. Sounds like a new form of excrement, number 3. No wonder no one is happy with third place. I gotta go make #3.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Zen Jokewriting Journal #2
Zen Buddhists advise against getting in your own way so here are my thoughts when I get out of my own way.
The morning is the most annoying time of the day. All the rituals are like a sound check for the concert that is the rest of the day. One thing goes wrong and the show sucks. Not taking a shower is like Art Garfunkel smoking cigarettes and gargling cream before he gets onstage. I am turning into an older Italian lady at work. Try not fitting in with people who are nice to you. It's ok though. I am still myself. I am like the straight man at the office. The girls tell raunchy jokes and I act shocked. I'm not really shocked that they would tell pussy jokes at an ob/gyn office, but my mom works there so I have to act shocked. If I don't leave right now I might get off of the "I'm Shocked I'm Listening to Pussy Jokes" show.Namaste. That was one of the word's Patton Oswalt used to end his essay. They also use it on "Lost." Namaste is the coolest word ever. I gotta take a shit. Bye.
The morning is the most annoying time of the day. All the rituals are like a sound check for the concert that is the rest of the day. One thing goes wrong and the show sucks. Not taking a shower is like Art Garfunkel smoking cigarettes and gargling cream before he gets onstage. I am turning into an older Italian lady at work. Try not fitting in with people who are nice to you. It's ok though. I am still myself. I am like the straight man at the office. The girls tell raunchy jokes and I act shocked. I'm not really shocked that they would tell pussy jokes at an ob/gyn office, but my mom works there so I have to act shocked. If I don't leave right now I might get off of the "I'm Shocked I'm Listening to Pussy Jokes" show.
Text/Subtext
Text: “A decade ago I used to say we really weren’t the comedy network. NBC was,” [Comedy Central president Doug] Herzog said. “They had all those great must-see comedies. But now I think we have the heavyweight crown in comedy. It’s ours to defend.” Subtext: The '90s was one corny-ass decade.
Ten years ago this was what made people laugh and what networks insisted was funny.
It took The Daily Show to make comedy smart again.
Ten years ago this was what made people laugh and what networks insisted was funny.
It took The Daily Show to make comedy smart again.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Check Out My New Column in The Apiary
It's called The Gag Reel and it has all the week's most important TV, movie and DVD comedy news. Look for it every Tuesday in The Apiary.
Found Humor: Big Nose Wallpaper
Found Humor is a new column in which I post things that I find that are funny. These things are either unintentionally funny or slightly funny (ie, a droll Wikipedia entry).
Next time at work when your friend isn't looking replace that person's wallpaper with this:
Next time at work when your friend isn't looking replace that person's wallpaper with this:
Monday, March 26, 2007
History of Meatheads According to A Special Thing
While discussing Mencia's theft of Cosby's material, Jen Kirkman mentioned the alpha-male trend in comedy.
Also - anyone who thinks Mencia's rendition is funnier than Cosby's and therefore gets to "keep it" is part of the sad, new alpha-male generation of comedy boneheads who don't even see the subtle emotion of Cosby's joke(s). Fags.
I offered an origin story for this trend.
Former Onion writer Jack Szwergold weighs in.
I think that the trend towards meathead entertainment—in general—started to turn in the late 1980s and very early 1990s. The Diceman is one sign. But even look at the world of professional wrestling. During the early-1980s, the world of pro-wrestling was a lot more relatable, fun and creative. You all kinds of different characters that those guys would try to pull off and it was all accepted. Captain Lou Albano could only exist back then. Nowadays, pro-wrestling is focused only on being super-macho/musclebound and not much else. Ditto with radio as well. Clear Channel's first big moves at acquiring every radio station on earth began at that time, and look at the result. "Shock Jocks" are now more shocking—and less creative—than Howard Stern was back in the day. And it's all homogenized as well.
Not to be outdone, Patton Oswalt offers his own stirring account of the day the jocks took over.
And a lot of stand-up, now, is about people telling the audience how THEY got over on someone, or how much tougher or meaner they were than someone else. It's less and less about realizing embarrassing but enlightening truths about yourself (Cosby shrugging off his son's, "Hi Mom!" because he realizes it was his hubris and need for vicarious glory that got his son into that endzone) and more about expressing pointless rage ("That fucking bitch never played football with him!").
Though we might argue who the man resonsible for meathead comedy is, we cannot argue who the original king of nerd comedy is (current king is Patton Oswalt): Tom Lehrer. Only a nerd can have fun with the silent E.
Also - anyone who thinks Mencia's rendition is funnier than Cosby's and therefore gets to "keep it" is part of the sad, new alpha-male generation of comedy boneheads who don't even see the subtle emotion of Cosby's joke(s). Fags.
I offered an origin story for this trend.
Former Onion writer Jack Szwergold weighs in.
I think that the trend towards meathead entertainment—in general—started to turn in the late 1980s and very early 1990s. The Diceman is one sign. But even look at the world of professional wrestling. During the early-1980s, the world of pro-wrestling was a lot more relatable, fun and creative. You all kinds of different characters that those guys would try to pull off and it was all accepted. Captain Lou Albano could only exist back then. Nowadays, pro-wrestling is focused only on being super-macho/musclebound and not much else. Ditto with radio as well. Clear Channel's first big moves at acquiring every radio station on earth began at that time, and look at the result. "Shock Jocks" are now more shocking—and less creative—than Howard Stern was back in the day. And it's all homogenized as well.
Not to be outdone, Patton Oswalt offers his own stirring account of the day the jocks took over.
And a lot of stand-up, now, is about people telling the audience how THEY got over on someone, or how much tougher or meaner they were than someone else. It's less and less about realizing embarrassing but enlightening truths about yourself (Cosby shrugging off his son's, "Hi Mom!" because he realizes it was his hubris and need for vicarious glory that got his son into that endzone) and more about expressing pointless rage ("That fucking bitch never played football with him!").
Though we might argue who the man resonsible for meathead comedy is, we cannot argue who the original king of nerd comedy is (current king is Patton Oswalt): Tom Lehrer. Only a nerd can have fun with the silent E.
Houdini Doomed by Dick Move
Critically acclaimed online comedy initiative "This Just In" reveals truth about Houdini's untimely end.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Mundane Dream Journal: LIC
I had a dream that I was driving through Long Island City and asked my friend and someone who I couldn't see in the back if they wanted go barhopping in the area. This dream represents my repressed desire to get fucked up the ass.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Bitergate: Mencia Rips Off Cosby
Unbelievable.
Interesting how Mencia's version is more hostile and less nuanced. Here's how he would do other comedians' material:
Mitch Hedberg
I was going to have my teeth whitened, but then I said "Fuck that, I'm a beaner so if I spend a minute in the sun, my teeth will look white compared to my fucking skin. You're thinking it, I'm saying it!"
Chris Rock
Who's more racist? Black people or White people? Beaners! Ya know why? Because we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, beaners really don't like about black people.
Andrew Dice Clay
Little boy blue - he needed the pesos! Ole!
Interesting how Mencia's version is more hostile and less nuanced. Here's how he would do other comedians' material:
Mitch Hedberg
I was going to have my teeth whitened, but then I said "Fuck that, I'm a beaner so if I spend a minute in the sun, my teeth will look white compared to my fucking skin. You're thinking it, I'm saying it!"
Chris Rock
Who's more racist? Black people or White people? Beaners! Ya know why? Because we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, beaners really don't like about black people.
Andrew Dice Clay
Little boy blue - he needed the pesos! Ole!
RIP Larry "Bud" Melman
Whenever I think about Letterman's unique sense of humor, I remember Bud walking on and off the Late Show set for no apparent reason except to make people laugh. I'll always remember his laugh. "Late Night with David Letterman" made him famous; so famous that he gave celebrity endorsements for Honda Scooters and other products. At one point he hawks a T-shirt in this ad within an ad. He will be missed.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Bernie Mac Retires from Stand-Up
After doing stand-up for 30 years, Mr. 3000 is making a grand exit at age 49. He does have one last show in the works: a film called "The Whole Truth, Nothing but the Truth, So Help Me Mac." Here's hoping Dane Cook or Carlos Mencia steal this idea as well.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Zen Jokewriting Journal
In the spirit of alternative comedy rooms from the '90s, when authenticity was the craze, I'm writing a Zen jokewriting journal. Zen Buddhists advise against getting in your own way so here are my thoughts when I get out of my own way.
"North American Scum" is ringing in my head. Ringing in my head. Do songs actually ring? Besides Pink Floyd songs? Zen comedy. Some Christians are moderate and only go to church every month. I wish moderate Islamic jihadists would only blow up certain parts of their clothing like their hats. That would look more festive. Comedy consists of talking 'bout your worst fears. Mine is being thrown in a dumpster full of mayonnaise-covered rats and realizing I'm gay.
"North American Scum" is ringing in my head. Ringing in my head. Do songs actually ring? Besides Pink Floyd songs? Zen comedy. Some Christians are moderate and only go to church every month. I wish moderate Islamic jihadists would only blow up certain parts of their clothing like their hats. That would look more festive. Comedy consists of talking 'bout your worst fears. Mine is being thrown in a dumpster full of mayonnaise-covered rats and realizing I'm gay.
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