Monday, January 08, 2007

The First Annual Jim Belushi Unfunny Awards

The Belushi for Least Funny Song of '06: "What if God Had a MySpace?"

MySpace comedy died in late '05. And Joan Osborne? Come the fucking hell on, man! Are we going to do Sponge parodies next? Unless you are Weird Al, you should really stay away from parodies. This songwriter is way too amused with the premise of God having a MySpace. If God had a MySpace, he'd probably smite it with holy terror and make Last FM instead.

The Belushi for Least Funny Viral Video of '06: "Completely Uncalled For"

For all the 2.0 hype of geek chic and how important geeks are becoming, meatheads and bros are actually the dark horses of the user generated universe. Just when you thought knock-knock jokes couldn't get less funny.

The Belushi for Least Funny Movie of '06: Benchwarmers

I thought "Grandma's Boy" was OK and Nick Swardson's performance in this was decent, so please leave me alone, Swardson fanboys. This is the opposite of the above viral video. While the latter tries too hard to play to the nosebleed seats at the intramural lacrosse game, Benchwarmers spawned a new genre: geek chic poser comedy. Every other line is "OMG! Are you kidding? Nerds love Star Wars!" Or "OMG! Nerds love AD&D!" Nerds also like good writing.

The Belushi for Least Funny Show of '06: "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip"

We all knew "S60" and "30 Rock" would be somewhat different. Who knew how much? Ever since "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" TV writers have equated "rapid-fire smarty talk" with "funny." Namedropping Sid Caesar and W.S. Gilbert will only get you far in understanding a Dennis Miller concert. But worse than the lame attempts at Howard Hawks Fridayspeak is the walk and talk. It sounds dumb, but "walk and talks" are the province of medical soap operas. Or White House dramas like "The West Wing." In a comedy the walking is distracting. With jokes this weak it just makes the actors look more nervous. My two quid: Have the characters sit down and say the least intellectual things possible. Like "Hardball with Chris Matthews." Now that's a funny show.

The Belushi for Least Funny Stand-Up of '06: Carlos Mencia

Nothing wrong with being edgy. Nothing wrong with race humor. But shrill, mean-spirited aggression is where I draw the line. Just like Louis CK gets respect in both cringe and alt-comedy circles, Carlos Mencia gets no love anywhere but on Comedy Central and MySpace. According to George Lopez and Joe Rogan, he steals jokes. Trivia: if you Google "Mind of Mencia," it says "Did you mean 'Chappelle's Show?'"

The Belushi for Least Funny Improv Group of '06: Wild'n Out Cast

This is the worst extreme of improv: when comedy becomes a sport. The network that gave us "The State" also gave us this Nick Cannon monstrosity. While we're at it, why the hell is Nick Cannon famous? Has a male ever gotten so far in life based on looks alone? As far as I can tell, the only thing he's good at is crying.

The Belushi for Least Funny Website of '06:
Ebaum's World

Beyond stealing from other sites, Ebaum's World is like "America's Funniest Home Videos" without Bob Saget. In a world with YouTube and College Humor, sophomoric drivel like this is more obsolete than a Peter Gabriel CD-ROM. Here's a description of a "hilarious" video: "This skater wipes out then whines like a little girl." Worst of all is the stand-up section. One comic actually says the only reason us men have sex with you ladies is to cum. Then why do we masturbate? Only a site like this can brag about having the Worst Videos of '06.

The Big Belushi for Unfunniness in '06: Michael Richards

Jokes are one thing. Even outbursts. But a livid rant on how blacks should be lynched is out of whack. Richards was obviously trying to antagonize the audience Andy Kaufman-style. Kaufman, like the Beatles, though great, spawned the awful genres of art-comedy and art-rock respectively. There's still those words, Mister Richards. But at least we got rid of those laughs.

ALSO: The Funniest of '06


Amye said...

Nick Cannon is famous because he was in "Drumline", one of the greatest stories ever told. Obviously.

fasthugger said...

Spot on.