Thursday, January 18, 2007

Hey Pundits

Shut your fly catchers about "24." Keith Olbermann is the Edward R. Murrow of our generation. Or he was until he decided to give a shrill, apoplectic tirade denouncing "24" - one of my favorite shows - as fear-mongering propaganda that advocates torture. Yes we are living in Orwellian times, which is why a man of Olbermann's stature should know better than to stare down a fictional super agent/vampire.

Jackula's Backula

The right-wing chickenhawk neocons add a dollop of creepiness to the hysteria. That porkpie-hat-wearing-pig-fucker Matt Drudge decided it wasn't enough to reveal the biggest spoiler in television history, but he also had be the mouthpiece for a Fox source implying that the "24" shocker would wake the nation up.

"Time to wake the country up!" a top FOX source told the DRUDGE REPORT over the weekend. "I do not think there has ever been TV done like this, the viewer is going to be completely riveted."

Because 9/11 and the color-coded alerts weren't enough to keep us terrified. Maybe this time we'll get the message and we'll realize that it's dangerous out there. Perhaps we can maybe watch "24" while we are cooped up? Just a thought.

I wonder what these pundits would say about other shows.

According to Jim

Keith Olbermann: Even if "24" is Fox's way of scaring people, at least it increases awareness. "According to Jim" aims to keep our nation bedraggled in a pool of its own idiotic slobber. The show has no ostensible political stance but its assumptions speak volumes. Whites stick with whites, minorities are rarely seen and nobody seems to mind the current state of affairs. Plus, Belushi is such a man's man, with his googolplex of football references. And look fat guys, you too can snag a hot babe. "According to Jim" is a witless sitcom that teaches apathy, complacency and poor mating choices for our already devolving species

Deal or No Deal

Matt Drudge: A show about people nervously having suitcases opened and awaiting surprises? Have these idiots not heard of suitcase nukes? This show promotes a very lax attitude towards terrorism. Besides, any show that attracts black viewers should make red-blooded American conservatives skeptical.

American Idol

Al Gore: This show sucks.

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