Family Shatters?

In this Hollywood Reporter article discussing comedy trends, here's one that's out: ABC family sitcoms.

"There are more workplace and family comedies this year," says Susan Levison, Fox senior vp comedy development.

That probably has a lot to do with the success of NBC's "The Office" and the lack of hit family comedies on the air with ABC's "According to Jim" and "George Lopez" nearing their end.

So what does ABC have prepared for series pick-up time in May?

American Family
Prod. Co.: Sony Pictures Television
Prod. Team: Jay Scherick (writer), David Ron (writer), John Fortenberry (director)
Family attempts to maintain appearances for the neighbors despite the chaos and challenges of 21st century family life (single-camera)


Family of the Year
Prod. Co.: 20th Century Fox Television
Prod. Team: Erica Rivinoja (writer), Pam Brady (writer), Michael Lehmann (director)
Revolves around 10-time family of the year winner the Holloways of Tatum, N.M. (single-camera)


The Middle
Prod. Co.: Warner Bros. Television
Prod. Team: Eileen Heisler (writer), DeAnn Heline (writer), Chris Koch (director)
Middle-class Midwestern family show told through the eyes of the mother (single-camera)

Talk about scoffing at the face of trends. I can't help but imagine Samie Falvey, ABC senior vp of comedy development, as one of those matriarchs that wants to do everything as a family. "You get off that computer machine this instant! We are going to watch TV as a family!" She can't even fathom that single people watch TV. "Only ornery men in trenchcoats watch TV by themselves!"

Here are some pitches I have for ABC, the only network that still believes in happy family comedies.

The Bin Ladens
Prod. Co.: Tim Warner Bros. Television
Prod. Team: RG Daniels (writer), Mo Diggs (writer), Francis Ford Coppola (director)
Bin Laden's been in hiding for over five years. You would too if you had a mother like his! (single-camera)


Dylan and Dylan
Prod. Co.: Maddog TV
Prod. Team: Lew Comacho(writer), Bethann Dwyrfwyr (writer), Sylvester Stallone (director)
Bob Dylan and Jake Dylan are a crime fighting father and son duo. Bob has the astonishing power to go electric. Jake is invisible. This rollicking comedy will leave you laughing in the wind! (single-camera)

What Do You Mean I Can't Hold the Cue Cards?


The Smarmy Indie Rock Douchedrop Family
Prod. Co.: Something Non-Corporate and Indie as Fuck
Prod. Team: Some Alternative Comedian You've Never Heard Of (writer), Me (writer), Mom and Dad (Producers)
A Park Slope family feeds healthy food to its kids, plays indie rock to its kids and borrows money from its kids. The kids rebel by playing Nickelback on their iPods and pitching their life story to ABC via their Mac Notebooks (single-camera)