Moby Schtick: The World's Longest Joke (Part 5: The Shocking Finale)

previously on Moby Schtick

"You know what, here's a Big Mac for free you chromosomal anomaly."

The genie gave a sideways glance at the armchair psychonanlyst.

"Three more wishes and I can go back on the cover of 'The Return of Jafar' so make it snappy, Sigmund Roid."

"Wish fulfillment is an infantile activity. Worse still, I am disturbed by Mo!'s juvenile attempt to create a week-long joke. It seems like the most pathological defense mechanism. Tell me Mo!, does getting to the punchline give you attachment anxiety?"

Um, no. If you would just shut up and get on with the joke we could get to the punchline already.

"Classic case of projection. He creates a fictional ego psychologist in order to project his insecurity at delivering a good punchline. Nevermind that I am clearly his creation, he wishes to blame me in this piss-poor exercise in metafiction."

Fuck this shit I'm gonna write a rant on the NIE report.

"Or you could just grant me my three wishes."

Fine.

"I wish to end this dream. Dreams are the only place where we get whatever we truly wish for."

And so the psychoanalyst woke up in his armchair with his girlfriend Jeanie on top of him, a Skee-Lo song blasting on his alarm radio, Bill O'Reilly ranting about suicide bombers on TV and a cheese-fondue stirring samurai in his kitchen talking to Frank Whaley and Kelly LeBrock with a clinically depressed chicken on his shoulder.






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