Friday, September 22, 2006

MTV Buys Guitar Hero, Hoping to Sell it Elsewhere at a Higher Price and Buy MySpace

We all know Guitar Hero is one of the most important games of the decade. Even the out-of-touch over-the-hill spring break alkies at MTV know. MTV has purchased Harmonix, the company that makes Guitar Hero, to the tune of $175 million.

from Idolator:

MTV has been snapping up tech companies in an attempt to augment its sluggishly performing cyberspace offerings--and, no doubt, to make itself feel better about missing out on MySpace--but this purchase is the network's first clear play for the aspiring Yngwie Malmsteens of America since Metal Mania debuted on VH1 Classic.

Wow, Viacom is that desperate to appeal to the young rippersnappers huh. Hey Viacom, get Comedy Central on the horn, the klaxon, whatever you fat geezers call it: I've got a game called Comedy Hero. It's a li'l bit similar to Guitar Hero. This is how you play:

So you wanna tell jokes huh? Well you can't just tell jokes. The secret to comedy is timing. So get Comedy Hero; it has a peripheral microphone that you move in sync with the jokes. In the brackets I describe what you do with the mike.

"Ever been to the drive thru?"
[put microphone in mouth]
"Wa-wa. Can I take your order?"
"Boy are my arms tired."
[tap microphone]
"Is this thing on?"
"So my kid says to me 'Since Sartre said there is no God, man is a useless passion'."
[beat kid with microphone]
"You're a useless passion dummy!"
"How do gay people have sex?"
[put microphone on crotch]
"You're a sick bastard player 1."
[put mike on forehead]
"I'm a unicorn; speak into my horn."
[put mike on crotch]
"Speak into my good horn baby."
[shove microphone up ass]
"They told me I'd get raped if I did a gig at the Yuk Hut!"

1 comment:

Cibbuano said...

I say draft a proposal and send it to MTV! Comedy Hero!